@sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_) header
@sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_) profile picture

@sshole

@Lisa_Laughs_

I wrote a funny tweet once.

 Texas
Joined April 2009
  • Tweets57.4K
  • Following2.9K
  • Followers37K
5Media
Photo by @sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_)Photo by @sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_)Photo by @sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_)Photo by @sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_)Photo by @sshole (@Lisa_Laughs_)
Why the fuck would anyone leave me in charge of my own destiny? Idiots.
27
277
2
747
My strengths are your weaknesses but it doesn't ever equal out.
4
1,117
I have 1 hour to get sober. *Takes 5 tequila shots. I got this.
2
12
1,602
Image from Bad Skeletor (@RealBadSkeletor)
7
41
3
146
7,943
People should have to audition for Twitter.
3
19
71
5,388
An easy way to know if your house is haunted is to bake a cake that says “for ghost” and see if anything takes it
14
286
9
2,474
129,514
Image from internet hall of fame (@InternetH0F)
617
17,378
642
349,958
20,759,713
@sshole retweeted
Tony P. (@Tbone7219) profile picture
Tony P.@Tbone72194 Jul 2023
I’m starting to think the sharks on "Shark Week" eat people just to get on tv.
17
49
1
185
10,996
My kid got overheated and said the only thing that would help was french fries, and I’m not a doctor but that sounds about right
14
89
2
534
17,884
Surround yourself with people that will leave you the fuck alone.
3
35
100
9,508
It's beautiful when two people make love and then fall asleep in each others arms and then they get savagely mauled by bears because fuck love.
5
17
45
4,461
@sshole retweeted
Tony P. (@Tbone7219) profile picture
Tony P.@Tbone72194 Jul 2023
I don't wanna brag, but I am definitely the drunkest guy at the bottom of my neighbors kiddie pool.
14
22
1
160
5,417
Remember when we left the house without a phone and survived?
65
89
7
537
31,441
@sshole retweeted
Lionella (@x_zaich) profile picture
Lionella@x_zaich4 Jul 2023
Plot twist: I don’t exist
8
11
32
2,108
@sshole retweeted
Jax (@ehhJax) profile picture
Jax@ehhJax4 Jul 2023
When you needed them, where were they?
13
39
5
98
8,550
hashtag cheat code
Image from Rock (@TheCensoredRock)
1
12
83
2,842
What do you want? -me flirting
7
45
1
78
6,530
Hear me out, a smoke break but you light yourself on fire
4
23
44
5,412
Has anyone lived long enough to buy a second bottle of Worcestershire sauce?
109
49
20
436
38,945
Please do not invite me to your wedding, I didn’t even want to attend my own.
3
19
38
3,251
Load more