Monty Máximo

This… “gear”? Oh, okay. I see. You think this has nothing to do with you. You… go to your closet, and you select… I don’t know, that tired black tank, for instance, because you’re trying to tell the world that you’re too masc, too chill, too above it all to care what you throw on your body. But what you don’t know is that that tank is not just black, it’s not jet, it’s not charcoal, it’s actually midnight cruising onyx. You’re also blithely unaware of the fact that, in 2012, Nasty Pig did an entire drop built around that exact tone. And then I think it was Andrew Christian, wasn’t it… who turned it into low-rise underwear with those giant logo waistbands and “Almost Naked” ads plastered all over WeHo. I think we need a harness here. And then that look quickly showed up in the collections of half the Pride runway scene. Then it filtered down through the boutiques and influencer thirst traps and trickled on down into some tragic sale rack where you, no doubt, fished it out of a clearance bin. However, that black represents millions of dollars and countless gym memberships, and it’s sort of comical how you think you’ve made a choice that exempts you from gay fashion culture when, in fact, you’re wearing an outfit that was selected for you by the circuit queens in the very room… from a pile of “stuff.”