Mike Finazzo

“Well, they really broke the mold when they made you.” He said while polishing up the world’s #1 Mold-breaking Machine, MoldSmasher 2000

Parenting Goal: Be as present and caring as Dad Tiger, but also wear pants

Just got an email from the Mets about winning World Series tickets. Does the prize also include a time machine, or am I missing something?

tragedy + timing + golf OR bbq-ing = Father’s Day Cards

🎵 "Hello 'Back-sweat', my old friend." 🎵

God bless you, life-saving 2nd roll of toilet paper, hiding tucked away up in this public bathroom stall tp holder. God bless you!

So we meet again, allusive green potato chip.

Congratulations to everyone selling rulers to TV weather reporters.

Happy “What did I leave in my winter coat pockets last year?!?” Day Everyone!

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take… and also like 100% of the shots you DO take because you’re getting old and un-athletic.

I think I’m like 3rd or 4th on the Giants’ WR depth chart right now.

That thing where a band keeps saying they're breaking up but then go on tour again the next year but it's me with extra helpings of dessert.

Why am I so surprised when I look outside and it’s bright and sunny and NOT raining fire and locusts?