MinorMatryoshka (@MinorMatryoshka) | teapawt

Tweets
All Posts
Sort by
Most recent Popular
Tweets & Replies
Reposts
Media
Search

Pinned Tweet

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaOct 21

You can't stop me from trying to have a normal conversation with you.

74

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshka8h

This car was designed with the understanding that you would be making out in the back seat at the drive-in.

Image from MinorMatryoshka (@MinorMatryoshka)

1

35

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshka12h

I hate going to fix some simple appliance and discovering star bits. Like really man, Phillips wasn't good enough for a washing machine?

18

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 8

Got some solid one-on-one time with an acquaintance and experienced his dawning delight to discover I was capable of thought. It wasn't mutual.

2

106

MinorMatryoshka retweeted

☃️goro 𖦹 ALAN WAKE II@gorororonggggNov 7

sometimes when im bored i dip my forty six year old writer in the dark place and he scream loud as fuuuuuuuck 😂😂😂

1

322

3,279

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 7

I have so thoroughly mogged my shitty step-dad that he's having an identity crisis and can't look me in the eyes anymore.

2

40

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 7

I like my women the way I like my dead wife nostalgia sequences: A little soft around the edges.

1

25

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 7

I could shave my head and get a cool cyberpunk tattoo.

1

26

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 7

If you have a problem because you did something stupid I'll be there but if you have stupid person problems you're on your own.

39

MinorMatryoshka retweeted

Shit Post@ShitpostNexusNov 6

Image from Shit Post (@ShitpostNexus)

102

38,407

345,773

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 7

I will have my pound of flesh.

1

40

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

When dogs get old they get lumpy.

1

36

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

So I once had the house that everybody hung out at, and I miss it. Today I realized I can be one of the people who hangs out at your house.

1

64

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

Lady sitting in her subaru for twenty minutes in front of the shop and it's idling at like three grand.

27

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

I am consistently about 20% happier in days where I get to wake up at 9.

22

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

A lady said my curls were beautiful and I blushed.

3

61

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

You can get literally any boomer to relax around you if you drop a hard r. They might gasp or something but they will feel at home in a way they haven't felt in years.

26

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

Rules of Crime: 1: One at a time. 2: Unless it's a good one then start with identity theft.

26

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

All hot button topics function like this. You are using the same words to talk about two different things.

Ben Landau-Taylor

@benlandautaylorNov 5

Periodic reminder that almost all homeless people are regular-looking people staying in public shelters or crashing with their cousin or something, and the disordered drug-addled street vagrants are a separate and much much smaller population.

24

MinorMatryoshka retweeted

@0xTheGreatApeNov 6

yo if the market is getting to you and you’re thinking about quitting, you absolutely should, you fucking pussy.

3

15

526

MinorMatryoshka@MinorMatryoshkaNov 6

Turn subtitles off.

Camellia | Whimsical Magical Gobber

@CamelliaLinwaldNov 5

Cyberpunk 2077 noob here, What is a non spoiler tip you would like to give new players?

Image from Camellia | Whimsical Magical Gobber (@CamelliaLinwald)

1

120