Mr. Lethbridge ☀️

So I can't become a Nun?

Does anyone want to date me? I'm not homeless

Somewhere out there, someone is making worse decisions than me

I'm trapped in the spirit world mastering the elements, and my boss won't leave me the f alone

AI is the best invention ever. It's going to kill us all.

I'm ready for AI to kill me

I peaked emotionally at a pizza party in 2007

What the hell does my right sock feel different than my left sock? And why the hell does my left sock feel different than my right sock?

I don't need closure. I need a bucket of fried chicken and some hot gravy.

Imagine being a sperm cell that lost the race and then finding out the winner grew up to microwave fish at work.

ARTS 2

ARTS

I don’t trust people who say “I don’t watch TV.” What the fuck do you do after 9pm, solve crimes?

A fly landed on me. I have been downgraded to peasant.

You might not poop every day but you should at least fart

The older I get, the more I understand why cats just sit there and stare at nothing

Patience is a virgin

My toxic trait is thinking I can carry everything in one trip.

Ate a lasagna

Adulthood is mostly just moving the same five objects around your house until you're too tired to care