Charlotte.

Good news! My new blog is finally ready for content! Once I spend this weekend finishing two posts, I will be re-launched! Stay tuned!😊

Day 14 of isolation: the internet went out and I cried.

My team at work has scheduled a “happy hour” where we can all eat our lunches on a video conference. If anyone has a pit full of lions and used needles, mind if I throw myself into it?

Everyone keeps asking how I’m doing, and honestly I’m... fine? Having anxiety prepared me for the worst anyway. I think my anxiety is just doing a little “I told you so” dance while I cook for 4 hours a day.

My workplace has mandated work from home. My husband’s workplace just closed for the foreseeable future. We’ve cancelled our trip to Australia that was supposed to happen in 10 days. I mean really... could we have picked a worse time?!?!

FINALLY, the two sex clubs in Toronto have closed. We closed Starbucks before we closed sex clubs. #covid19 #covidontario

Standing outside a yoga studio on a Sunday morning and stuffing a McMuffin in my very hungover face before class is a prime example of a garbage human just trying her best.

Boy oh boy, I’ve got a long list of people who can jump up their own ass today.

Brick and mortar stores: online shopping is putting us out of business! This is all your fault! Also brick and mortar stores: here's half our selection and nothing over a size 6. But you could order from our website!

Has anyone reviewed the Renegade Thruster? I think I want it, but with the exception of one porny review on PinkCherry, I'm having a hard time finding reviews.

Inputting my 24-day vacation into not one, but FIVE separate calendars at work was probably more cathartic than the actual holiday will be.

What even is porn these days?

Me: interested in men, 28-44, non-monogamous, in Toronto. OK Cupid: here's a 22-year-old monogamous woman in Woodstock!

Me: "I have to change. You can see my bra through this shirt." Ty: "So? Not like we don't know it's there." Me: "Yes, but it's the unwritten rule of society. They pretend that we don't wear bras, and we - grown-ass women - go along with it."

I have a date this afternoon that I've been excited for all week, but being sandwiched between so much cute almost feels like enough to cancel it and stay here💞

If you like your friends yelling at an inanimate object to play porn, then you'll LOVE having a smart home!

I’m not about to propose drinking games in the workplace, but I think if each office drank every time a stupid acronym was used, the alcohol poisoning that set in by lunch would be a hell of a wakeup call.

It's shocking I'm not promoted to the top of the corporate ladder with moral boosters like "85% of what we do here is not a total waste of time."

Me: "Maybe I'm ready to be promoted..." Also me: "85% of the work we do here isn't a total waste of time."

Peak laziness: texting your coworker who's on the same floor to ask if she's seen any office snacks.