Vegan Problems

Let food be thy medicine, prevention and cure.

When lettuce gets stuck in odd places. Your teeth, bra, neck roll.

My mind says Victoria's Secret model but my heart says peanut butter and chocolate.

Nothing irks me more than a bone broth drinking freak.

Fight for your planet not your country.

I must be part squirrel. I attract all the nuts.

Tis the season to have your food choices mocked at the dinner table

I wish I was full of tacos instead of emotions.

Perks of no one eating my vegan food at thanksgiving: leftovers on leftovers on leftovers for me!!!

If you need me, I'll be over here sobbing by the turkey skeleton.

I am thankful that the only thing sticking to my thighs today are my hands when I'm twerking.

I am thankful I am not in a food coma because I ate a decaying body of flesh.

I am thankful that I did not eat dead animals today.

There is nothing to be thankful about when there's a slaughtered turkey on my family's dinner table.

Laugh all you want at my Tofurky, but while you're gaining 10 holiday pounds I will stay right and tight.

I am one of those assholes who makes things difficult by being vegan AND gluten-free.

But more importantly, when you go vegan, your body will thrive. You will never have pooped better in your life.

As a vegan, morally I could never go back to eating animals. Physically,I think my body would reject it and I would have a serious reaction

As a non-vegan, maybe your taste buds are so accustomed to sugary, animal-fatty foods that you cant appreciate the earthy crunch of a walnut