The Maldylorian

All the crying about Yordan's unanimous MVP award is good practice for when Altuve is a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

I don't care who you are, this right here is funny.

Does David Montgomery actually exist anymore? How has he still not even practiced once in almost a month? Maybe his hamstrings are actually silly string?

I might actually be looking forward to a lockout. I couldn't possibly be less interested in this coming season now.

Nintendo really knocked this Ocarina of Time remake out of the park! It’s so rich and polished that I often forget I’m playing the same game. Worth every penny for sure.

If the Astros hire Ausmus as manger after all this I might become a buzzer believer. Fuck that. Unwatchable.

I think I’m going to decide who to vote for by adding up all the annoying unsolicited bullshit text messages. Whoever sent the least number gets my vote!

What's between your ears? It's not a brain.

Pro tip: stop holding on every f*%king play.

Did the announcer actually just say that when Skatteboo leads with his head that he’s just “trying to protect himself?” Braindead statement.

Wait didn’t we all decide that we are over Ken Rosenthal? Why is his pompous ass still on my broadcast? Gross.

Has anyone besides Boob Nightengale floated the Milwaukee Brewers assistant GM Matt Kleine rumor? If not then it's probably the exact opposite in real life.

Holy shit even Roseanne did it better.

Congratulations to National League Champion Lance McCullers Jr!

Did the Dodgers even beat the Brewers a single time this season? Total domination.

Why don't you just ask you boy Mookie?

The most amusing thing on the internet today BY FAR is all the Dodgers fans accusing the Brewers of cheating because they are clapping the cheeks of their underperforming overpaid team.

I’m so sick of hearing Smoltz say the word heartbeat. Actually, I’m just sick of hearing John Smoltz.

I’m wondering if the Harrison trade has anything to do with what Dell looked like when he returned to practice. That was a very serious injury.

This is an excellent tweet that makes a really good point. I would have retweeted it but I am apparently blocked for some reason 🤷.The Astros have been there before.