I got Diabeetus. Old man who’s very rich and very conservative. PULL YOUR PANTS UP AND WEAR A BELT! @MrZackMorris ‘s Grandpa. ITMBanks @mybankisfat 🫡 👴🏻
Orange County, CA
Joined August 2014
- Tweets1.4K
- Following1.2K
- Followers573
- Likes25.2K
Pinned Tweet
. @SECDEEZNUTZZ I am honored and blessed to be “Paw-Drawn” by the Talented Artistic Genius Dog named Charlie. I will die any day now, so my “WISH” is to at least have these artworks in my field of view when my heart finally gives out. God Bless You! – at Texas, USA
Dr. Wilford (Diabeetus & High Blood Pressure) retweeted
I got hammered and woke up in a motel in Vegas. There was a Native American midget puking in the toilet and a black woman arguing with the maid in front of the TV! The air smelt like cigarettes and hair spray. This happened back in the days when we still used paper maps, not GPS.
Dr. Wilford (Diabeetus & High Blood Pressure) retweeted
Am I the only one that still likes to
Write things down on paper.? To be able to sift through pages, flip, bend, staple, etc makes me feel more organized and I see things better.
This is the only thing engineering, CS, and quant finance employers look for in candidates. The purpose of the interview process is to make sure you’re actually as autistic as you sound on your resumé.
5
821
I will be in court tomorrow. My wife packed my Oatmeal and Folgers coffee breakfast in a brown paper sack in the fridge - ready to go for tomorrow morning. You might as well give up already!
1
6
924
Those cackling fools my wife is “friends” with are already planning to BAN me from the upcoming Thanksgiving party. Apparently, my truth, facts, and logic are too complicated for their pea sized brains. They yap and babble 🐓. I’ve got to put a stop to this! JUSTICE 4 WILFORD!
@PenniesGrow4U You are an American Patriot! You understand.
I know every stereotype about every race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, IQ, culture, etc. Don’t try me, boy.
1
2
529
My “BobbleHead Injun Doctor” informed me that he will no longer prescribe me cough syrup or lithium. Picked up my new prescription at the pharmacy yesterday: stimulants. I’m back in my fucking prime, you fuckers! I’m no longer pulling my boner UP in my pants, I’m angling it DOWN.
2
447
Y’all saw me on the local news last night. My mobility scooter left these scooter kids in the dust!
3
403
If you’re a man wearing sandals or loafers with no socks, don’t be surprised if I beat you with my cane and run you over with my scooter! That flamboyant stylistic choice is abnormal and degenerate. Nobody wants to see your hairy feet or “friction browed” ankles! Take notes!!
3
373
My favorite grandson @MrZackMorris. He’s the only one who’d watch Cacoon (1985) with me on the old VHS box. It’s the only movie ever made to be on DVD/VHS ONLY. Good luck trying to stream it. It’s a classic! $ZACK
3
412
