NickyBeaster retweeted
So we got our first glimpse of the new sixers starting lineup and these defensive numbers are surely something
NickyBeaster retweeted
don't worry everyone, if you need a break from disastrous underperformance and medical malpractice, the Philadelphia 76ers season is about to start
NickyBeaster retweeted
This is POETRY IN MOTION!!!!
I can’t believe this is really my basketball team this season……
NickyBeaster retweeted
CHI 59 - CAR 37
🚨 SCORIGAMI 🚨
That is the 1096th unique score in NFL history, and the 1st of the 2026 season.
NickyBeaster retweeted
Some don’t want to have this convo, but the quality of life in the average central New Jersey town is superior to 90% of the country. You’re an hour from the greatest city in the world (and Philadelphia also), less than an hour to lovely beach towns and excellent restaurants.
Often known as the 'armpit of the nation,' New Jersey is now ranked the second-best state to live in - here is who's first trib.al/mbuILPk
NickyBeaster retweeted
I mentioned that my garage door was making a sound.
An American immediately said, "I got a guy."
He did not ask what the sound was. He did not ask what kind of door. He produced a guy on the basis of the word garage.
I asked who the guy was.
He said, "Just a guy."
He did not have a company name. He had a first name and a phone number in his phone saved as "Mike Garage."
That is the contact name. Mike Garage. As though Garage is his surname. As though there is a family.
I asked how he found this guy.
"My brother-in-law used him."
I asked if the brother-in-law was satisfied.
He thought about it. Then he said, "He's still standing."
The house is still standing. That is the entire review.
Inside I said: THEY DO NOT KEEP RECORDS. THEY KEEP LOYALTIES.
I called Mike Garage. He answered from inside a vehicle. There was wind. He said he could come Tuesday between eleven and four.
Between eleven and four. A window of five hours. In my country this would be a scandal. Here it is generous. He gave me a window at all. Some guys do not give you a window. Some guys say "Tuesday" and that is the whole appointment.
He came at 1:40.
He fixed it in twenty minutes. He charged me less than I expected and he did not take a card, only cash or an app I had never heard of.
Before leaving he looked at my water heater, which I had not mentioned, and said, "That's gonna go."
I asked when.
"Couple years."
I asked what I should do.
He said, "I'll give you a guy."
He gave me a guy. Mike Garage has a guy. The guy has a guy. There is a network beneath this country made entirely of men named after their function, and none of them advertise, and all of them are busy.
Inside I said: THERE IS A SECOND NATION HERE. IT HAS NO SIGNS. IT IS ENTERED ONLY BY INTRODUCTION.
I have been given four guys since.
I have a guy for trees.
I did not know I needed a guy for trees.
I have trees now, apparently. They are my responsibility. A man named Rick told me so and then left.
NickyBeaster retweeted
LeBron James has officially signed his two-year, $8 million contract with the Philadelphia 76ers with a player option -- plus a full 15% trade kicker, per sources.
Reporting for the 6p @SportsCenter on LeBron James deciding to play his 24th and potential 25th NBA seasons in Philadelphia:
NickyBeaster retweeted
Millions of diehard LeBron James fans in three months: “Wait is that a Goldfish blimp?”































