Not Jon Self (parody)

Jack and Oddfellow dog and Death by Cheese Stick. The cheese and hot Cheetos do a good job of covering for the hot dog whose flavor forgot to show up to work. 5/10 foods The cheese stick is a cheese stick. 10/10 foods

We end our trip to Universal with whatever this is at the Terminal C Lounge. Unrated See you in the fog in just a few weeks!

The Monte Cristo at Toothsome’s. Ever had a Pillsbury Toaster Strudel? Ever had one for $19.99? Here you go. 5/10 foods

The Italian Sandwich from Breadbox. The bite taken out of it indicates its edibleness. 6/10 foods

French toast muffin from Crossiant Moon. It doesn’t taste like a croissant, a moon, or French toast, but it does taste like a muffin. 5/10 foods

Lomo Saldado at Strongwater Tavern at Sapphire Falls. Truffle fries and steak. What else do I need to write? 7/10 foods

Tropical roll at Orchid Court Lounge at Royal Pacific. Would not recommend for those who dislike precut food. Other than that, delicious. 8/10 foods

Enchiladas Ranchero at Antojitos and Enchildas Ranchero at Antojitos when viewed through a straw. While not a finger food, the cheese plays well with the more cheese, so it’s worth it. 7/10 foods

The Kitchen Sink at The Kitchen (Hard Rock hotel) blends deliciousness with guaranteed stomach pain. 10/10 foods

The chicken carbonara at Mama Della’s never disappoints and our favorite server Joe always makes it better! 10/10 foods

Non-denominational pretzel at NBC Grill and Brew. The gluten makes this a terrible choice for gluten-free individuals. 9/10 foods @pastorjonself

Carson Daly Potato and Cheese Flatbread from the Today Cafe. The cheese, bread, and potato combo make this similar to a pizza if the pizza had potatoes on it. 7/10 foods

Shepherd’s Pie Fries over at the Finnegan’s booth near Central Park. The giant fork made eating these a breeze. Couldn’t even taste the shepherd.

As difficult as it was to pass up the opportunity to order duck from the chocolate emporium, we opted for the Truffle Fries and Totchos. Both dishes benefit significantly from not being comprised of duck. Totchos: 9/10 foods Truffle fries: 8/10 foods

The Loaded Bavarian Pretzel from “the stand next to Central Park,” (thanks for the description Hollie) is everything you could ever want if you wanted a pretzel, deli meat, pickles, mustard, and cheese at the same time. 8/10 foods

Chicken cheesesteak and a French toast club from Werner’s Diner in Baltimore. If you’ve seen The Wire, you know…

Pizza pretzel from Busch Gardens Williamsburg. If this doesn’t put you in a food coma, the price will. 7/10 foods

Sweet Lew’s BBQ in Charlotte. BBQ potatoes, mac ‘n cheese, pulled pork, brisket, and ribs. Carolina BBQ is the only way to do BBQ. 10/10 foods

Chicken legs and fries from Carowinds. The legs may or may not come from The same chicken. 6/10 foods

Fried chicken sandwich and fries. The fried element makes it more likely to be your last meal. 8/10 foods