Josh Earnst

1/x: I decided I can't do much with this account after Friday. Probably leaving it open with the hopes that Josh runs for office one day.

I have a new account for anyone that hasn't heard. Won't be tweeting here. For anyone that wants to follow @sean_spicier

The ole exploding pen gag never gets old xitter.gq/laurameckler/status/82…

POTUS just left the Oval Office for the last time. He held it together until I reminded him he had to leave the key to the WH driving range.

President-elect Trump just entered a morning church service. So far, the walls haven't crumbled but officials are watching closely.

Got pretty lucky to have a guy like Sean Spicer follow me. I'm going to look like the greatest Press Sec in history after that guy gets done

Definitely had way too much to drink last night. Woke up with the Winston Churchill bust in my bed.

Great news, folks! El Chapo is being extradited to the US. That means next time he escapes, it'll be to an American city.

Tried watching some of the inaugural concert, but some dude was singing about loving America just a little too much for my taste.

Cleaning out my office is taking longer than expected. There's more stuff here than I thought. Like, who's Kenyan birth certificate is this?

Another ObamaCare success story! xitter.gq/cadreamin42/status/822…

I'll be jobless soon, so I signed up for OCare. All I need now is surgically repaired compound fractures in both legs to meet my deductible.

Last full day at the WH. Still have lots to do. If anyone has any experience "relocating" very expensive china, please DM.

68 Democrats say they'll skip the inauguration. Instead they'll sell their tickets and use the proceeds for something good, like a new car.

I decided that I can't attend the inauguration of our new President. Mostly because I don't have a ticket, but let's call it a "protest"

How will those poor ultra-rich folks survive? xitter.gq/politico/status/822047…

Democrats finally get to question all those scary Trump nominees and they ask them about climate change and $300 stock trades.

POTUS endured some tough questions from the press corps today. That one about his daughters' disappointment w/the election had me sweating.

Independent studies of people losing health coverage, largely considered bunk science for the last 8 years, made a triumphant return today!

Things aren't all that bad for the man that set himself on fire outside Trump's hotel. He met his $12K ObamaCare deductible in one shot.