Octocuss retweeted
wearing your favorite perfume to bed naked and eating steak with your hands is actually very chic
There’s the old adage that goes:
“Treat others as you would have them treat you.”
But I think this can also be flipped around to say:
“Treat yourself as you would have yourself treat others.”
That is, we can aspire to treat ourselves with the same respect and love that we aspire to treat others with.
If we find that in our internal thoughts and feelings we are often essentially shouting at ourselves, harshly criticizing ourselves, insulting ourselves, or speaking to ourselves in a desperate or raging tone of voice, we can ask:
“Would I speak to a friend or someone I love like this?”
If the answer is no, then it usually points to a need for greater self compassion and self respect.
Learning to be a friend to ourself and to treat ourselves like someone we love is a foundational skill for learning to be happy.
And it also tends to make it easier to then treat others the same way.
One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to commit - solemnly and sincerely - to *always* loving yourself.
At all times and under all circumstances.
To treat that commitment like a wedding vow, with the same seriousness you’d give to an important promise you’ve made to a lover.
To love yourself when you’re lazy, when you’re weak, and when you fall pray to your most frustrating vices and compulsions.
To love yourself when you are envious, when you are scared, and when you feel like a failure.
To make this promise doesn’t mean that you will never falter or flail in fulfilling it.
This is the paradox of self-love: to be utterly committed to loving yourself and utterly committed to forgiving yourself when you fail to do so.
But just making that commitment in itself is powerful.
Not just to hope to love yourself, or to believe that loving yourself would be a good thing or to love yourself when you behave in ways you deem lovable.
But to commit, to promise, to vow to love yourself, unconditionally at your worst and weakest and most ugly.
I think many people worry that if they give themselves unconditional love, then they will lose the motivation to grow or address behaviours that don’t align with their highest values.
But I don’t find this to be the case at all.
I believe most of our unaligned behaviours are grounded in shame and self-hatred, not love.
Love is an energizing, illuminating and healing force.
My experience is that all our apparent flaws actually contain deep seeds of wisdom in them; this wisdom simply gets lost in the darkness of self-rejection.
In the light of love, these lost parts can see where they’re going again and naturally grow towards that light.
We sometimes think that we have to wait until we feel lovable to love ourselves.
But the truth is that when we love ourselves - truly and unconditionally - our heart reveals its infinitely lovable nature: here, now, already.
Octocuss retweeted
no i didnt subtweet u ur post just reminded me how much i hate the thing u spoke favorably of
Octocuss retweeted
do any of my mutuals in NYC have any leads on housing/sublet for the winter?? pls link me or connect me!
Octocuss retweeted
Some men can't handle tall wives. You can tell skooks is a great guy but he's not ready. He should've said willowy, statuesque. Perhaps regal. Lithe.
Octocuss retweeted
Jung's words on finding your own path:
“What is to come will be created in you and from you. Hence look into yourself. Do not compare, do not measure. No other way is like yours. All other ways deceive you and tempt you. You must fulfill the way that is in you.”
Octocuss retweeted
This isn't rare, and this is why it's okay to be polarizing. If 10% of women aren't repulsed by the idea of dating you, there won't be any women enchanted by you.
This doesn't mean you should intentionally alienate 10% of women, but it's something that happens naturally when you're something.
Take my mustache-- there are absolutely women who think it's a dealbreaker. They want nothing to do with it. Simultaneously, there are women who could tie happy if only they could be tickled by it once. Whatever choices you make will include and exclude some potential spouses. To exist is to sort some in and others out.
By trying to "optimize" and not repulse the largest possible segment, you remove those traits which some smaller segments find incredibly appealing. You can optimize for the largest pool, but none will be enchanted by you.
Have an identity, it's the only way to be loved.
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Octocuss retweeted
Hey guys!
I'm consulting now. I'm a staff-level engineer with 12 years of experience, specializing in React, Rust, tooling and languages, browser performance, as well as communication (technical and not) and product ideation
I'd love to help your company! My DMs are open
Octocuss retweeted
Personally I find it incredibly romantic that someone can get their heart devastatingly broken and after mending it back together alone decides to place it in the palm of your hand. But what do I know




























