Bitch Problems

You walk into Bath & Body Works smelling like a human and walk out smelling like Fresh Vanilla Balsam of Mahogany Christmas Joy and Laughter

when my bra matches my underwear i really feel like i have my life together

I'm always the one... trying.... trying too hard when I dont get shit back lol

I miss him

no longer forcing shit... it is what it is from now on

do boys even get crushes on girls do boys even like girls do boys even feel things

me: hey maybe today's gonna be a good day face: no hair: no family: no school: no life: no

friend: whats your favorite season? me: of which show? friend: me: friend: me: me: me: oh you meant like the weather

if i had a british accent i’d never shut up

i need a 6 month vacation twice a year

Me, two minutes ago: *intense feelings* Me, now: *no feelings present. unsure if there were ever feelings*

me in ten years: "hey do u still like me, idk ur just being quiet" my husband: "babe im sleeping"

im naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke

high school made me realize that i really hate people

It costs $0.00 to be loyal It costs $0.00 to be consistent It costs $0.00 to be honest

never trust anyone who can bite an ice cream without flinching that shit’s not natural

plucking your eyebrows is legitimately very stressful because you pull out one wrong hair and it’s game over