Raised bi wolves
Joined July 2010
- Tweets6.1K
- Following813
- Followers1.4K
- Likes2.8K
My wife wants us to fly to New Zealand! I want that too now.
#YVRSkytrax10
We're celebrating being voted Best Airport in North America 10 years in a row by giving away 10 prizes to 10 lucky followers! All you have to do is quote tweet this and tell us where you want to fly. Top prize is a $2000 travel voucher. Make sure to use #YVRSKYTRAX10.
Peter Carlone retweeted
Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward.
Peter Carlone retweeted
every thrift store I've been to smells like someones cooking up a big pot of rug soup
Hahaha you can say "it fell apart like a house of cards" and even if someone thinks you are talking about the show they will still get what you were saying.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
sometimes i think about taking up smoking just to make myself go outside more
Dear @Netflix_CA you can make hundreds more "Bright" movies if you keep producing stuff like the Malala interview. Great stuff.
... (Please don't tho. About the Bright thing)
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I have a GIANT head xitter.gq/justwarr/status/972355…
Rad fun writers Etan Cohen, Tracy Oliver, Max Winkler & Peter Carlone @JFLNorthWest #comedy #screenplay panel today. My fave advice on how to get your script made: “you literally can’t listen to the word NO” 🤘 #JFLNW18
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Peter Carlone retweeted
2010: oh cool i can order a book off amazon
2030: oh cool my amazon overlords are allowing me to eat one portion of food today
Peter Carlone retweeted
DETECTIVE: Who said anything about murder?
SUSPECT: I didn’t.
DETECTIVE: Sorry, it’s my first day as a cop I got excited and skipped ahead.
SUSPECT: It’s okay, it’s my first day committing murder.
DETECTIVE: Who said anything about murder?
SUSPECT: Aw nuts!
I am as down with the content of the #vertical10 as much as I HATE the orientation. Stop trying to normalize portrait over landscape.
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Peter Carlone retweeted
some of you youths are gonna be real disappointed when u discover that turning 30 just means you still have all the same weird interests but can't turn your head all the way to the left anymore
Peter Carlone retweeted
#InternationalWomensDay is just a holiday hallmark made up to sell more women
Peter Carlone retweeted
looking forward to the 1,138th episode of Conan tonight xitter.gq/ConanOBrien/status/971…
