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Laura

@PourMeOne_more

Opinionated, outspoken and sarcastic. Married and happy about it. Enjoys a good shit show. No dms, I’m extremely disappointing. Cheers 🍻🇨🇦🍻

 Canada
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Joined November 2021
  • Tweets8.4K
  • Following980
  • Followers3.9K
153Media
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No one is horny 24/7. I think you might just be hungry hun
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Idk who needs to hear this but those kids are throwing your containers in the garbage. They are not in their locker at school
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One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a lunch break
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I’m pretty sure god never intended for us to have jobs in the summer
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If your man doesn’t think you’re a complete badass for the way you remember everything for everyone in this house you’ve turned into a home, you need a new man.
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Reverse cowgirl so he doesn’t see me order more crap off Amazon
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Have you tried leaving your foot out of the blanket about it?
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I'm in awe of people who cut up their entire meal before taking a bite.
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Fast food isn't that fast or good enough to be this expensive
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At this point in the week, all of my tweets are basically cries for help.
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I wish I loved anything as much as semi retired men love being assholes to people on their Facebook groups
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It's probably too late to lose 50lbs by 2023
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Nothing a few cold coronas and some decent sex won’t cure
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Welcome to 40...you can go to work for the day or you can mow the lawn, but you can't do both.
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When you wanna just drive for hours listening to music so loud you can’t think, but you’re also a parent with a mortgage and responsibilities and shit and gas is actual gold right now
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And is your "sense of humour" in the room with us now?
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Crazy is awesome . . . especially when it gets you a "not guilty" verdict.
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You look like a fucking tool. Thanks for coming to my ted talk
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Is “shit show” one word or two? I need to get this Friday afternoon email to management just right
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I'd stay up past 9 for you.
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