RP Noonan

So here's a story. It's a bit gross, but you'll see where it's going at the end. When I was 9 years old, we were driving to my Mamaw's house in Louisiana. And when it gets hot and muggy in Louisiana, it gets hot and muggy. I had to pee, so I told my dad, and he stops at the next gas station, but it's closed. Next one was like 20 minutes away. By the time we get there, I feel like my bladder is about to explode. I do that run-walk-dance thing you do when you're trying to not pee your pants into the store, and ask the guy where the bathroom is. He says it's around the corner, so I'm like great can I have the key. I finally get to bathroom, and as my eyes start to float higher in my head, I get it open, and the moment I open the door, this STINK that I will never forget hit me in the face. And I go to the toilet and there is MASSIVE fermenting turd in there, stewing in the hot, humid Louisiana summer with that unairconditioned bathroom with all the tiles acting like some sort of kiln. So I go to flush it, and the handle is broke. And if I don't pee now, I'm going to pop. So I let it rip and as the stream hits the turd, these giant, toxic clouds appear in the water as the turd just disintegrates into poison gas. I do everything I can to not puke while I finish peeing, wash my hands and leave. I don't think I ate again that day. Anyway, I'm telling this story because it's what I think of every time I see Jesse Watters.