Randall “The Pulp” Palmer

Things might not be all that bad after all

Shit giving me full body chills and a boner in english class

Over before it began #thatsbaseball

They’re calling it the scariest Sunday since Pearl Harbor

50 year old on the brewers pitch cam has some cans #would

Got my first handjob and smoked my first dart in these bad boys. Onto bigger and better things.

Wouldn’t be a Sunday without 5 hours in the ER waiting room Basically the same as jail but with more foreigners and way less cool

Just took salvia expecting to find my purpose instead I was reincarnated as a fat whores vape #nuke my bloodline

Every club and college bar on earth should have a weight limit nobody wants to see that

If you own a Tesla with a sticker letting everyone know you don’t like Elon Musk you are gayer than sloppy boy sex

Been thinking a lot about this one as of lately

So apparently the only socially acceptable way to ride a bike over the age of 20 is to dress up like a gay bomb pop and disrupt the flow of traffic #nuke cycling

I remember when golf was cool and old money now it’s riddled with twinks that do math and read books and get no butt

Sometimes I drive with two hands to imagine what it’s like to be a retard or a woman

Cart girl more like rape me

A few messages for dudes who go to the gym with their hot girlfriend: 1: I have more SoundCloud followers than you 2: fuck you idiot 3: the n-word

Do drivers in the UK still hold their beer in their right hand? Genuine question