Black Desp. 'raven

#sinondiary At last, the release of her first original song is just one day away. To mark the occasion, I want to share one of the reasons I wrote “De Mange Stjernene.” For a while, I had given up music entirely. I was living as an office worker, going through each day like a replaceable cog in a machine. Somewhere along the way, I lost the desire to create anything. Last year, I finally began taking DEADWIRE seriously again. But a series of setbacks this year brought our activities to another halt. Meanwhile, my well of inspiration seemed to have dried up. Even after finding my way back to music, I felt I had reached my limits. I was also deeply insecure about my songwriting still being stuck in the melodic death metal of the ’90s and 2000s. People told me there was nothing wrong with doing what I was good at. But I was frustrated by my inability to move beyond familiar territory. Having music you love and know how to make is one thing. Feeling that you are still growing is another. Should I focus entirely on my work as a luthier? Was it time to close the chapter on my life as a musician? That was something I was seriously considering when I discovered Sinon Sinfonia. What particularly stood out to me was her attitude toward music. Through her studies in music production and sound engineering, she had developed a strong understanding of popular music. Her approach was thoughtful and thorough. I became interested in how she understood music and how she went about creating it. Her story about wanting to study vocals, but taking another path because of her family’s opposition, stayed with me too. I had wanted to study bass, but ended up studying humanities instead. Our circumstances were not exactly the same, but I felt a certain kinship. Watching her, I could see a little of myself at her age—the more younger me who wanted to pursue music truely. Seeing someone like her take music so seriously and work toward making her own made me want to try again. Before deciding that my limitations meant I should stop being a musician, I wanted to see how much further I could take my songs—and what might happen if I tried something unfamiliar. “Varg av Valkyria,” which was recently completed, was an important piece in that process. The early sketch really did have an arrangement straight out of ’90s black metal. To put it kindly, it was nostalgic. To my own ears, it sometimes sounded dated. That song reflected my fear that I was simply repeating the music of an era I loved. But as I developed that sketch into the current final demo, my perspective gradually changed. I began to feel that a song’s first version did not define its potential—or mine. Working through the arrangement helped me regain confidence in my ability to take an idea further. After that, I wanted to venture beyond metal. That became “De Mange Stjernene,” a song drawing on Scandinavian folk music and the atmosphere of a medieval minstrel’s song. If Varg helped me regain confidence in my arranging, this song helped me see possibilities for myself outside metal. I don’t know whether any fans who still remember my music have noticed, but “De Mange Stjernene” is also based on the chorus lyrics of “Just (Like) Another St(ell)ar”—a modest hit of mine back when I was active in the Korean indie music scene. Why those particular lyrics? I honestly don’t know. Perhaps I wanted to sing those words again because I felt some vague sense of longing and hope in them. And now, I’m writing a song with the thought that perhaps, someday, I might be able to offer it to Sinon. She is part of Phase Connect, an international company, so whether I will ever have that opportunity remains uncertain. But still, just being able to dream and create like this is a joy in itself. I went from wondering whether it was time to leave my life as a musician behind to working on music I want to make, with someone in mind whom I might someday be able to write for. That is why I want to thank Sinny. Your attitude toward music inspired me, and that inspiration became new music and the courage to try something different. Thank you for helping me dream and make music again, Sinny. Congratulations again on your very first original song.

#SinonDiary and she looks like DORO so much