She told me to read the situation I told that bitch I’m dyslexic

life would be so much better if we were legally allowed to hit billionaires with a really big stick

ladies and gentleman… gym progress

getting shadow banned bc I dislike the government

if i were a journalist in order to keep my journalistic integrity i’d be like “ok guys you’re gonna want to believe me on this one”

going out to vote is actually very cool and epic

all my homies deserve 10 likes on any given tweet

I hate how corporate America has brainwashed me into saying friyay

hell yeah

an inhaler is essentially just a vape but for life

we ball

picking up a random phone call like “hey, what’s up? hello?”

I keep hearing about this straight of hormuz but what about the gays of hormuz… am I right

doctors hate him

went to a therapist turns out i’m mentally chill

some times I feel like hannah montana with my work persona versus my real life persona

FUCK I just realized I think therefore I am

men who call women “females” need to be locked up and be punished with a lifetime of community service

republicans be like “liberals are too soft” then literally cry whenever they get the slightest amount of criticism

god bless everyone who still calls this app twitter

another day another fricken dollar