Diarrhea is just a bussy smoothie. 🙂

So we beat on, bussies against the current, borne ceaselessly back into the past.

Guys clamoring for relic baseball cards is so funny to me. It's giving "buying a streamer's bath water." Oh, you want to buy a piece of a uniform your favorite player wore in a game? You need the cloth pookie wore close to his body and sweated in? How romantic.

This looks like when a kid spills chicken nuggets in the back seat and you find them in a pile on the floor mat with some dog hair stuck to them.

People saying, "I hope you die!" is the funniest thing ever to me, because like, was it even a question? Was there a chance of a person being immortal that we didn't know about? Pretty sure you'll get your wish, buddy.

It's 2025. Haven't people gotten tired of giving birth to boys?

Men will make up entire fantasy lives and just plug women into them like a formula without even asking what women think of any of it, and they're shocked when their little fantasies don't work out. Declarations of love without knowing so much as her favorite color? Delusional.

I tried Boucheron Eau de Parfum because it was a favorite of both Anna Nicole Smith and Selena Quintanilla-Perez. Omg. If you're like me and hate this new wave of gone-in-5-minutes, bullshit skin scents, get Boucheron. My girls Anna and Selena had taste. Vintage fragrance >>>>

Carrie was the Anna Delvey of the Sex and the City group, and no, I will not be explaining further.

Y'all like sparkly things and want to see my new ring under the grocery store lights? Ok.

The kinds of people (mostly seen on FB) who post long diatribes about fake friends or how they were always alone and how no one ever had their back are so cringe. Yes, we've all been betrayed in life, but if your whole crew does it? Baby, you picked 'em! Have some discernment!