Madridsta🏆

2/2 How can someone be both the single greatest thing to ever happen to you but also the worst ? It’s been 3 years since we broke up. A little over a year since the last time I saw/spoke to her… We could never effectively communicate but both tried for a long time. That final day, after we got off the phone I sent her this message…. She never responded. 4+ years we gave each other. Took 2 weeks for us to fall in love. & after all that I didn’t even deserve a reply. I’ve tried to move on. I’ve tried dating again to no avail. She’s the LOML & I can’t still can’t even say her name without getting emotional, but I know we could never be together again, especially after how low I’ve felt from her silence. I’ve wanted to text or call her, but know I can’t. I know that “no answer is an answer” or “no closure can be closure,” but so often I just want to curl up & dye. I feel like all the best parts of me are gone, but I’m not supposed to want them back. I feel incredibly broken, & am not sure if I’ll ever actually recover from this. I always think maybe if I just give it a little more time I’ll feel a little better, but I never do. Don’t even feel like I can talk to my friends about it anymore since it’s been so long & they’re surely tired of hearing me talk about her. I still don’t sleep, have a fraction of my old appetite, etc. & honestly don’t think I ever want to fall in love again. My mind & heart have become constant prisons. All I have are my body pillows so would be great if someone could just send a hug. I feel so alone might as well be Tom Hanks in Cast Away.

Maybe time doesn’t heal all wounds...1/2