Stuyvesant HS/CTY/med nerd. Comedian & Polypharmacy Troubleshooter. @mcsweeneys|@pitchjokes| @funnyordie|@Gomerblog|#bodegahive

Wash Heights, NYC // Philly
Joined January 2012
The Neo–Don Dadaist, MSci 🗽 retweeted
.@NYCMayor gets a kiss from Pickles the seal to celebrate his and Councilmember @kaymsanto's $2 million investment in the New York Aquarium
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When film people fawn over a movie, I'm out
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She's literally just tired. Appropriately so.
Drunk or not, Jaime West perfectly described what it feels like to be in America right now: "I mean, ugghhhhh" @michaelkosta
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The Neo–Don Dadaist, MSci 🗽 retweeted
he dead be tweaking 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
that tiktoker that’s goin to overpriced spots in NY, trying the food & saying “this shit is trash” right in front of the establishment got it right now
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The Neo–Don Dadaist, MSci 🗽 retweeted
Replying to @TheStalwart
can we please stop pretending that prediction markets have predictive value?
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And yet Le Figaro Cafe is closed smh
If we’re gonna have influencers make them like this dude that tells it like it is 🤣
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You stay tf home.
What happens if your parents won’t sign to be a guarantor for an apt in NYC?? What do you do?? 😵‍💫😵‍💫
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Yes, encourage people to vote with astrology
From the charts, I don't think El-Sayed will win against Mike Rogers in the Michigan race..
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Check your @TMobile bill, right now. The lawsuit taught them nothing. They've been overcharging me for years now, and I was too tired to fight it. I'm awake now. Leave
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Remote work makes unionizing a damn-near impossibility.
Replying to @mattyglesias
What upside is there to on site work?
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Uhhhhhh...Omni cards
What is the reason that people in New York just decided to stop paying for the bus after the pandemic? Doubling like this is wild.
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One of many, but a strong one.
NYU is the true villain of NYC.
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Rough
"$80 parking. $30 nachos and a Coke. And here I am back in my car headed to the hotel. I can't make it to Sunday's game, so now I'm gonna miss a game. I promised my wife I'd be home by Sunday morning. I've got two flights booked for Sunday morning." ➡️ A frustrated fan sounds off with @VulinecJake on MLB's delayed decision to postpone #Guardians #Rays Game 4 of the ALCS
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He ran on a Muslim ban in 2015. Why are we acting like this is new
Trump on El-Sayed: I’m the president. I can call you whatever the hell I want Muhammad. His name is actually Abdullahalalalala baa ba ba Muhammad El-Sayed. So his middle name is Muhammad. I was right.. almost.
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This kinda happened to me Thursday
BREAKING: ADHD researchers confirm that having one single appointment at 3:00 PM successfully destroys the entire day leading up to it. This is not a joke. This is peer-reviewed. 1/6
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Half of the complainants went to the Riyadh Comedy Festival. They could've addressed that with them face to face
If these comedians get their wish from sebastian maniscalco (which I 100% hope they do) could the compromise for putting them back on SiriusXM be that I never have to see them bitching @ airlines on twitter again for free shit because their flights got fucked?
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It's post-COVID NYC. Anyone can lose everything at any time.
Replying to @emilyagain
If she made these incredible pieces, how was she homeless? They have market value... Anything behind that?
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The Neo–Don Dadaist, MSci 🗽 retweeted
just explained the covid concious lesbian bar hijab inspired secular accessorization clown college discourse to my mom and she just said "the cia is eating your generation alive"
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The Neo–Don Dadaist, MSci 🗽 retweeted
The last 24 hours of news as a woman: - A man jacks off to the woman next to him on a plane. United makes her return to her seat. - 7 frat boys drug and gang rape a student for hours, and advertise “free p*ssy” to their frat. Cornell makes them write essays. - A football player rapes a student. LSU reduces his suspension. - A teen boy stalks and stabs a girl 10 times. Courts grant only a restraining order. - Brendan Carr spent 9 years in a cult raping teen girls. Trump made him FCC Chair.
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The Neo–Don Dadaist, MSci 🗽 retweeted
Women are going through a lot , Please give them money .
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