And just like that, the dreams of my crew are over. I have such mixed emotions about dearMoon’s cancellation. Of course I’m extremely disappointed, having dreamt about this mission since I first heard about it in 2018 and even more for the last 3 years since the selection process started. I slowly allowed myself to envision a trip to the Moon one little bit by little bit. On the other hand, I have guilt about being upset about a gift that was retracted. A part of me doesn’t feel I’m entitled to grieve since I wasn’t entitled to this mission in the first place. But the reality is, I’ll need to allow myself to grieve this loss as it became a big part of my life, my dreams, and my visions. Going to space has never been a thing I’ve actively pursued in general. It’s not a goal of Everyday Astronaut. It was simply a cherry on top. Granted, a HUGE cherry, but I’ll be just fine without this mission. I’m extremely fortunate to have the life and the career I have and this mission’s cancellation changes none of that. In fact, I’ve gained new friends, had new adventures and learned more about myself in the last three years because of dearMoon. Unfortunately, I can’t speak for everyone on the crew who all have different emotions, consequences and realities of this cancellation. For those who this affects the most, my heart goes out to them. The one thing I have a hard time reconciling is the timeline. Had I known this could have ended within a year and a half of it being publicly announced, I would’ve never agreed to it. We had no prior knowledge of this possibility. I voiced my opinions, even before the announcement, that it was improbable for dearMoon to happen in the next few years. I still firmly believe that, within my lifetime, we will see missions like this happen, and while I will never be the first to do such a mission, it brings me great joy to know the future is bright and exciting. And I’m proud to be able to continue to cheer those on who will do these exciting firsts! I’ll still be here to help explain rocket science to anyone who will listen to me babble on about spaceflight. In 2018 I started looking at the Moon and imagining artists going around it, then as the selection process narrowed, I allowed myself to imagine going around it. But unfortunately now every time I look at the Moon, it’s a painful reminder of dreams lost. But I will continue on as I always have, one giddy rocket nerd who’s here to witness history, absorb as much knowledge as I can, and break down what I learn for my fellow everyday person. I love you all, thank you for the ongoing support and encouragement at this time.