I don’t speak German but I can if you like (but I actually do speak German)

my therapist said this to me the other day

sparkle land is so fucking funny hahahaha

one thing that never sat right with me was that I entered that Blue Peter Doctor Who competition when I was like 9 and suggested some kind of werewolf concept (and they ended up having a werewolf episode) but the kid who won suggested this absolute MESS

Labyrinth at 241? These people don’t know shit

apparently it’s Nobody Talk To Sam day but nobody told me

‘play with your ass not me’ one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a min

drinks are so strong in the US that they made my eyes water

you miss your flight one time and really get everlasting airport anxiety for the rest of your life

guys I’ve never been to Olive Garden before shall I go

what’s happening in NYC this weekend

kelly clarkson when she goes back to that shop: here I am once again

some malevolent energy on overground trains in London lately… I feel so ill each time I get on one

do you all ever just randomly go deaf in one ear for like 47 seconds

have you ever been so high you can taste the fruit in plain chocolate

‘ten 10’

wait bc I respect this

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck

receiving this from a man you’ve never met who lives on the other side of the world >>>>>>>>

reacting 🔥 to straight men’s stories because what’re they gonna do

I type some shit like ‘Gosh… what a day!’ to my clients at work