The Alcoholic

I'm still confused as to why the sink doesn't have a vodka switch.

Person: wanna come to this thing? Me: eh, I'm busy Person: there's free alcohol Me: what time we leavin?

When you take a sip and can't taste the alcohol #SoMe

Sorry guys, I've been to drink to tweet.

Cheers to the freakin weekend. I'll drink to that. Yeeeeaahyeeeaaa 🍾🍻🍷🍸🍹

I prefer to drink my calories

Mood: drinking margaritas while someone drives me around in the back of a convertible.

Someone come over with food and alcohol.

I probably would've been the mascot for the anti prohibition movement

TipOfTheDay: Always drink with a straw. It's the cheapest way to get drunk faster

Tuesday Boozeday. Don't forget to take a shot on your way out the door!

Super Bowl is my excuse to drunk.

May I have a vodka soda? hold the soda please.

Every hour is happy hour for me.

Drunk and sober are the same. Either way I'm crazy

I don't take shots, I take bottles

My life is basically the equivalent of what happens after you drink a @fourloko before they changed the ingredients.

I'm more likely to crash due to the overplay of Justin Bieber than drinking, so I vote we make that illegal too.

Everything is better with lots of tequila

I'm sitting at home wishing I had a alcohol. Now I know why it's called Thirsty Thursday.