Time’s ban of the year
blocked by dan nainan
Joined September 2012
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Noticed birds perching on some lumber I’d left drying across multiple rungs of a ladder and thought “I should design something specifically for that” but the more I fleshed out the details I realized I was trying to invent a tree.
So he’s setting up a defense, right?
Option a: “why would I go to Jeff’s island when I’m clearly a gay man?”
Option B: “your honor, it is impossible for me to lie because, legally, I like big butts”
Me: I better subscribe to these podcasts I like so I’ll only hear what I want while I’m working.
Streaming service: Next up, that podcast you hated and only listened to the one episode that had Nick Mullen on it seven years ago.
There’s a major plot flaw “Live Die Repeat”.
Tom Cruise is introduced on cable news pushing the military’s propaganda but when he gets shipped off to the base absolutely no one recognizes him as the guy from tv. Sorry, but everyone’s favorite movie is bad now.
Probably THE worst thing about this era is struggling to find a way to make becoming a prepper seem cool
“Hi, I’m Doctor Phil and because my first name is Doctor I know everything about the human body or brain, I forget which one, but anyway you should definitely listen to me when I say car shield is good and not a scam. Because my name is Doctor. Doctors know cars, you old idiot!”
I haven’t seen a video of a cop acting like a cartoon character after briefly touching fentanyl so I guess they make a safe version now. Or maybe making fun of people accomplishes something.
Somebody should cut together all the gold buying commercials since the 80’s. Apparently we’ve never not been in uncertain times.
Comics addressing the audience as “pieces of shit” is the throwing peanut shells on the floor of comedy.
my sister may be a hacker because the wikihow page on how to tell whether you’re spreading cheer or just being annoying is suddenly missing
This year I’m rebranding the lonely bleak existence I feel as I listlessly move room to room wondering where it all went wrong as Myself on a Shelf™️. That’s the power of positive thinking!
