staff developer | I tweet about coding and justice 🕌 🇪🇬
Toronto, Ontario
Joined August 2012
- Tweets6.7K
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- Followers582
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Sometimes I wish I could break bits of my happiness off like chocolate and share it with the people I love.
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Do your friends and family members share your values about abuse and sexual violence? What conversations do you have on a regular basis about abuse? If someone you love made a disparaging remark about a victim, what would you say?
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Have you ever posted on social media in a way that could hurt victims of abuse or sexual violence? Have you ever shared memes about abuse or sexual violence? In what ways have you been complicit, intentionally or accidentally, in the silencing of a victim?
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How do you feel when you read about domestic abuse or sexual violence within celebrity relationships? Confused? Angry? Irritated? Sad? Concerned? Amused? Excited? Where do those feelings come from? How do you feel when you read about abuse between non-celebrities?
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What news sources do you trust? Where do you get your information? Are you actively seeking out news or passively absorbing it via algorithms? Who do you follow on YouTube and social media who informs your views? How do you decide who is an “expert”?
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How has the media — from TV to tabloids to social media — shaped your understanding of abuse and rape? What stories have you seen in entertainment about domestic violence? What did those stories prime you to believe about abusers and victims?
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What myths have you absorbed about false accusations of abuse and rape? Do you think false accusations are more dangerous than the crimes people are accused of? Has anyone in your life been accused of harm? Did you react to this allegation defensively or with an open mind?
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Are there survivors in your life? Has anyone ever confided an uncomfortable experience in you? How did you react? Is there anything you wish you had done differently? How can you better support the victims in your life, whether you are aware of their experiences or not?
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Have you ever felt taken advantage of? Have you ever been harmed? Have you ever perpetrated harm, consciously or by accident? Have you ever exploited a power imbalance? How do you experience power or powerlessness in your daily life?
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What type of person do you think is likely to abuse their spouse and/or children? What racial or class assumptions do you bring to your understanding of abuse? Do you think certain types of people are more likely to get away with perpetrating abuse?
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What unconscious beliefs do you hold about domestic abuse and sexual violence? What do you think motivates victims speak up about their experiences? Are there victims you are more likely to believe than others?
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Three police officers went to an *elementary* school in Tennessee & arrested four Black girls.
One girl fell to her knees. Another threw up. Police handcuffed the youngest, an 8 yo with pigtails.
Their supposed crime? Watching some boys fight — and not stopping them. (THREAD)
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person: how are you
me: good!
[after 4 seconds of reflection]
should’ve said bad. bad was the right answer.
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I just want you to know, in case you don’t know or you’re not sure, that someone punching a wall in front of you, when they’re “upset with you” - that’s abuse.
Even if they say they would never hit you. They know what you’re picturing when they do it. That’s why they do it.
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As you get older you realise there’s a lot of unlearning you have to do, because a lot of things we were taught by people we trusted & maybe looked up to just wasn’t right. They were probably taught that too. Breaking cycles can be so difficult.
Things my husband says to me in the washroom:
“Let’s see if we can find the resonant frequency of this washroom”
“eeeeUhhhOooooWaaaa-there!!!”
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All of this, of course, is happening on the background of Bill 21, 91 members of parliament voting against M-103, the never-ending war on terror. There are no words for this grief. Sending love and light.
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Any Muslim can tell you about the violence that they face day after day. I've been told to "blow yourself up, you Muslim bitch" at a Pizza Pizza. Bystanders did nothing. Visibly Muslim women endure worse, more often. Physical and psychological safety is never guaranteed.