A part of the Oldest House has manifested in my hallway. Call the FBC? Adhesive foil with a wooden pattern, gray PVC tiles, a red little carpet, and of course...sticky notes. 😄 Plus a hidden electric box. I'm kinda proud of what I've done here all by myself. #ControlRemedy

'Be what you want to be' they say, huh?

Half of my mind wants to learn to play guitar and the drums. The other half wants to play videogames and do art. What if I can combine it somehow in the future?

On a positive note though: I'm glad to be alive for awesome videogames and moon/star gazing.

It could mean so much, you have no idea. It could save them.

I guess I'm writing too much. But let me say one more thing. If you notice someone being really sad, please don't think 'they're exaggerating' or 'it'll be over and they'll be happy again in a minute'. If you care, ask them, if everything is okay and if they want to talk.

I'm just disappointed in friends and family. There are luckily two who haven't abandoned me, despite my sadness. I'm so so grateful for them. 🙏 Tomorrow I will tell them that again.

So now I started picking people I want to spend time with more carefully. I'm trying to find out who I can still trust. And those people who complained about my emotions, are confused as to why I'm not talking to them anymore. Some of them are even angry. But I'm so done.

'Asking for help is actually brave, you know? ' Yeah? Guess what. When I was at my lowest, I asked you for company, for one evening together, but I got 'Nah, I don't have time for you every day' considering you never have time for me. Someone else is always more important.

I can't. Seriously. I can't. With these. People. Zero sympathy. But silly me thought they might be friends or family. And since I ended up more or less alone now, I had to do a lot alone. And then the same people came to me saying

I hate people who don't know you, but think giving you advice in very difficult life situations is a good idea. Like...you lose the most important person in your life and they complain that you're only in a bad mood now and that you should just 'flip a switch' and be happy again.

So, what do I do with people who only like me when I do what they say and who can't accept the side of me which grieves? I don't have the energy for them, seriously. It's hard enough as it is.

Oh wow. 😅 But I wouldn't mind. Let's go back to FF7 times with four physical disks. A nightmare for developers though, I assume?

@claudia_draws34 Say, who's your favorite character Aidan has played? I'm curiouuuuus. By the way I hope you had a FANTASTIC birthday and dreamed of him.

Sam Lake will welcome you.