Sir Trevor McDonald

If Dion Dublin can join Homes Under The Hammer, then surely I can light a fire under Top Gear now and give it some classic Trev panache?

How did I get so good at interviewing? Scientists have proven that I have a face that is impossible to lie to

Delighted to be revisiting a few old haunts tonight. It's Trevvy Mac y'all, original corner boy

Took a nap at 2pm and only just woke up. Just found out it's a boy and I've gone and won £268! Now here's to hoping he's a Gavin! #RoyalBaby

And that's right, the bus! Tasty T was a pauper once too, y'know?

Someone on this bus has an issue keeping their urine in their bladder. Oh Father Time, please don't take my control away from me.

Really getting into slap bass at the minute - Level 42's Mark King has got the groove, he is a king! #fastandloose

Got my Grand National bets on, gone for Becauseicouldntsee, which will also be my excuse tomorrow morning for my antics if he wins

Sorry I've been away folks, I gave up the Internet for lent. But I'm back now, for all my fans and admirers.

Only one remedy. 8 hours in the trophy room watching old editions of newsround. He truly is a little rascal at times.

Same dream for a week now. Chased across London by a vicious 30foot tall @lizo_mzimba as he leaves broadcasters strewn across the pavements

I wanted to have Straight Outta Compton as the end credits but the powers that be refused #Insidedeathrow

Interesting fact : This gentleman has a tattoo of a Puffin on his lower abdomen

Don't know why everyone's complaining about the snow, I just made it to Bargain Booze and back on my C90 with only a grazed knee.

So many new hot followers when I have a new show on, I feel like a more promiscuous Harry Styles

It has given me an idea for a panel show though, several minor celebrities are put on death row and the public decide who lives

Death Row, pretty grim and not very interesting. You can all watch something else now

Hope everyone saw my big appearance in Iron Lady tonight on Channel 4. Meryl Streep is a fox, especially with that Thatcher hair.

Channel 5 is like the Iceland of television, lots of disgusting concoctions that don't go well together