Glight

a cop show my mom watched was using the term "looksmaxxers" and in the post credit people were credited as "looksmaxxer 1" & "looksmaxxer 2". I am very curious about the type of person who writes cop shows.

wow these chicken & dumplings are fire almost makes me forget that the last time I had made them I was taking photos and then proceeded to bleed all over my last set of chicken & dumplings

He judges me because I napped without him

I want to take a nap soooooo bad but that means another 2 days of constant naps no full rest.

Landlords are swapping houses with me. They took the external heating/cooling system that they broke ~2 months ago and got it replaced within a day... no they did not turn it on for me they're saving that for when they move in 🥹 They are also raising the rent 🥹🥹🥹🥹 wow 🥹🥹🥹

Beams this into your brain

Who want something from the store I’m rich

Taking my chess pieces for a walk :3

You think this guy got some heat

Tax course I opened contains 8 modules

I don't know--you sure he's not throwing up because he's pregnant with verity?

she glight on my denny til i @SmashTrophy

I can't come up with anything witty today. So I am taking applications for twitter ghost writers. Tell me what to tweet

Surfs up dude, wooooah cowabunga!

Met a celebrity today

Solomon is my favorite character in the new batch

I bring a kind of "ON GOD EVERYBODY IN THIS LOBBY READY TO GO" vibe to Deadman Danny

Woke up to my curtain falling on me. Now there’s a good chance there are clear thumbtacks hanging out around my bed 😃