Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1) profile picture

Someone, but not you

@SomeoneButNotY1

I’m someone but I’m not you ... which leaves something like 7,529,999,999 possibilities

 Kay, AK
xitter.gq/search?q=from%3A%40someonebutnoty1%2Fexclude%3Areplies&src=typed_query
Joined March 2019
  • Tweets3.3K
  • Following315
  • Followers56
26Media
Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)Photo by Someone, but not you (@SomeoneButNotY1)
Someone, but not you retweeted
Eylon Levy (@EylonALevy) profile picture
Eylon Levy
@EylonALevy23 Nov 2023
The first question that left me speechless (but only for a second):
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After 10yrs of marriage is finding out that your spouse sucked 500+ dicks before getting hitched a big deal or is my wife just overreacting?
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Someone, but not you retweeted
🇰🇪 (@MrLewisVuitton) profile picture
🇰🇪@MrLewisVuitton17 Jan 2023
This is why I order a family bucket at KFC. No one is left behind
PETA (@peta) profile picturePETA
@peta13 Jan 2023
Next time you think of eating a chicken, remember that they had a family—just like you.
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Kung Fu Kanga (@_little_old_me) profile picture
Kung Fu Kanga@_little_old_me19 Sep 2022
I cannot stop laughing at this.
Image from Kung Fu Kanga (@_little_old_me)
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Kid 111D (@3dog101) profile picture
Kid 111D@3dog10118 Mar 2019
Friend - Your grammar is horrible. Me - My grammar is 97 and she's a saint. You watch your mouth
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Someone, but not you retweeted
shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) profile picture
shen the bird@Shen_the_Bird29 Jan 2019
me: [as cute doctor walks in] i must have been poisoned by the mafia- doctor: says here you ate a glowstick
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) profile picture
Andrew Nadeau
@TheAndrewNadeau3 Nov 2021
date: so how did you lose your hand? captain hook: a sword fight with my mortal enemy date: ooo, that sounds sexy. who’s your mortal enemy? captain hook: this fuckin orphan
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Someone, but not you retweeted
John Kennedy (@FrazzleMyGimp) profile picture
John Kennedy
@FrazzleMyGimp28 Jun 2022
Mcdonalds employee: your voice sounds so familiar Me: guess i just have one of those voices haha employee: [snapping] you called earlier asking if we had a pool
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Someone, but not you retweeted
iain (@ACartoonCat) profile picture
iain@ACartoonCat13 Jun 2022
Her: I'm sorry. I'll do that thing you like 😉 Me: Pushing me on the swings is not going to fix this Jennifer.
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Someone, but not you retweeted
badphrog (@badphroggy) profile picture
badphrog@badphroggy2 Jun 2022
New Comic Don't Say Gun
Image from badphrog (@badphroggy)
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Drinkinstein (@OswaldOLottakum) profile picture
Drinkinstein@OswaldOLottakum2 Jun 2022
My girlfriend just got mad at me for peeing in the shower... 1) it save water 2) everyone does it and 3) just because I'm not the one showering does not negate rule 1 & 2
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) profile picture
Chad Read@squirrel74wkgn15 May 2022
Neighbor: What are you doing? Me: Jesus Christ, Bob…what does it look like I’m doing? Neighbor: …urinating on my mailbox
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Someone, but not you retweeted
shen the bird (@Shen_the_Bird) profile picture
shen the bird@Shen_the_Bird24 Sep 2021
flight attendant: is anyone here a doctor?? me: [sprints through the crowd, pushing over a child] i'm not
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give us the footage between Will laughing at the joke and him getting up.
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Someone, but not you retweeted
God Creating Animals (@GodAnimalBooks) profile picture
God Creating Animals
@GodAnimalBooks18 Mar 2022
God: you’re a mermaid. Mermaid: what does that mean? God: you’re part women and part fish. Mermaid: what am I supposed to wear? God: seashells. Mermaid: ok but what if they don’t fit? God: try a shells, b shells or d shells.
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Boids (Dave McElfatrick) (@boidscomic) profile picture
Boids (Dave McElfatrick)@boidscomic26 Jan 2022
Image from Boids (Dave McElfatrick) (@boidscomic)
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Michael Harriot (@michaelharriot) profile picture
Michael Harriot
@michaelharriot24 Jan 2022
Maybe you don’t know. Why is “Jim Crow 2.0” an apt description for the new voting laws? A thread
Leon Benjamin (@Leon4Congress) profile pictureLeon Benjamin
@Leon4Congress23 Jan 2022
Don't you just love how Biden and Schumer throw "Jim Crow 2.0" around like they know ANYTHING about what it was like growing up in the Jim Crow South? These are two old white men who would've been JUST FINE in the Old South. They've got SOME NERVE talking like they do!
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Boids (Dave McElfatrick) (@boidscomic) profile picture
Boids (Dave McElfatrick)@boidscomic23 Jan 2022
Image from Boids (Dave McElfatrick) (@boidscomic)
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Someone, but not you retweeted
big boy online (@idonotbleed) profile picture
big boy online@idonotbleed26 Dec 2021
[walking into a gingerbread house] the floor is baklava
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Someone, but not you retweeted
Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) profile picture
Andrew Nadeau
@TheAndrewNadeau13 Dec 2021
santa: I hate this movie. It’s not a big deal, air vents are basically ju— mrs claus: *just trying to enjoy die hard* just horizontal chimneys, we know
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