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Breaking NFL news, broken further. Parody account.

Joined October 2026
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“I mean, he was throwing deli meat out there”
#Rams S Quentin Lake on what it was like facing Justin Herbert on Sunday: “I mean, he was throwing deli meat out there. He’s seeing ghosts, I’m not gonna lie. We knew we were gonna get a couple.” (📽️ @StBrownPodcast)
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Nuclear war 10 people remain Al Michaels is one of them He’s still arguing against the analytics on 4th and inches
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funny that the 49ers could actually really use him
Wide receiver Brandon Aiyuk has turned in paperwork to be reinstated, per his agent Drew Rosenhaus. Aiyuk, who currently is on San Francisco’s Reserve/Left Squad list, will be reporting to the 49ers’ training facility Friday afternoon, per Drew Rosenhaus. “Brandon is healthy and ready to get back on the field,” Rosenhaus said.
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Ravens HC Jesse Minter announced QB Joe Fagnano will start Thursday night vs the Jaguars.
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The Indianapolis Colts now are open to trading star running back Jonathan Taylor, sources told @RapSheet and me. Multiple teams have reached out to Indianapolis, and those talks are said to be active and ongoing, according to sources. More on espn.com.
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One well-placed source told ESPN this weekend that there is "no way" the Jets will trade Garrett Wilson by the NFL's Nov. 10 trade deadline, despite any interest from other teams.
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#Bears GM Ryan Poles, on trading for Jeffery Simmons, says that going back to 2018, every Super Bowl champion has had a high-level DT—and believes that’s vital for a team that wants to win it all. (Fletcher Cox, Aaron Donald, Chris Jones, Vita Vea, Jalen Carter, Leonard Williams, etc.)
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What NFL talking heads think of when anybody talks about the analytics
These are the computers the Spanish government uses to run it's train system
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Week 8 is stacked
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The most consistently great fantasy players so far this season, scoring 20+ points in more than two-thirds of their games.
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The biggest boom-or-bust players so far this season, with the largest swings between their best and worst weeks.
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Week 7 data dump (half-PPR) 🧵 Rhamondre Stevenson had 93 receiving yards. All Patriots WRs combined: 87.
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Bo Nix ran for more yards (73) than 11 of the 26 RBs with 10+ carries.
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Davis Allen had 20 receiving yards and finished 4th among TEs (4 catches, 2 TDs).
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