Only sports. Inventor of new sports. Channeling the spirit of Powdereddddd TOooooast Maaaannnnn
Joined November 2020
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I will leave no stone unturned in order to make this a reality. Please pass me the first bucket of stones.
Top sports for 2026
Downhill 100m hurdles (very steep)
Cross country shot putt
Skateboard darts
Men's heavyweight topless high jump
Lesbians
Streptathlon (sore throat mixed field and track)
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Been playing jenga with Kris Akabusi and I have to be honest after a small disagreement he knocked out a few of my teeth. Thankfully I have a spare set of teeth in my leotard pocket. Great to see you Kris and looking forward to next time.
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Putting this guy through his paces. Press ups, Reverse Lunges, Sprints , and Squatters Remorse. You can see the joy in his eyes.
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Where would we be without the invention of the Sports Alan Travel Springboard? We'd be right here because I haven't invented it. But once I have...
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Normally I jog at all times but today I stopped for a while and contemplated the bees. I wondered do bees jog?
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Boat sport! So excited! Cumshot!
Photo of the Day: HMS Warboat makes a good start at the British Boat Grand Prix (Like F1 but boat) as they set off for the 70 lap race around the Broom Lake track, Can Capt Nottie Zactly-Trew beat the 2day, 14hr, 28min, 21sec lap record?
Photographed from a Canberra
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Great weather for skiing. Water skiing. Unfortunately I lost my boat a while back so I am now just skidding endlessly across the Atlantic, reading your tweets and singing national anthems.
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I cannot condone the use of Extra Strong Apes to kidnap midgets and use them in an underground Olympics in Sportizstan.
Extra Strong Apes are outlawed under the Geneva Convention.
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Spent the day throwing my javelin at the bowls pitch much to the annoyance of the bowls club president. I told him it was a free country and he didn't seem to like that.
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