Stanley Robertson (“big Stan”)

Hooked up with a girl in Greece a few months back and I just got a message from some guy from Serbia on IG heated at me saying he’s her bf and he’ll find me🤣✌🏼 ight man

Haven’t had 1 drink this week while not working what’s happening to me

Some chicks insta story that I had to stop hooking up with because of her lack of intellect. Checks out

My new job is paying me over $500 a day to sit at home and do absolutely nothing this entire first week. Think I lucked into the chillest manager of all time🙏🏼

Got switched teams randomly at the job I’m about to leave and two dudes on my new team are former NFL starters/Super Bowl champs lmao

Chicago is simultaneously filled with some of the best/kind people to exist and some of the absolute worst humans society has to offer

Been 3 weeks in Florida and still searching for my Latina wife

Still don’t see how I can wake up every day for the next 25-30 years going to a mundane corporate job. I was born to be a nepo baby socialite

Weddings always make me yearn to get married. Will Stan ever find his wife??

I’m too lazy to wish people I never talk to happy birthday

Dude at the airport in a tiny eating area asks for my other chair that he clearly sees my dry cleaned suit hanging on (nowhere else to put it while I eat) and when i tell him no he calls me an asshole and walks away dramatically👍 multiple other chairs open at other tables btw

Should I start playing pickleball as a hobby or is that gay

Started my new corporate job in Florida two days ago and already got a better offer with better work life balance and 40k more a year managing my own territory😭 how do I leave my current job

My uncle from prison giving me girl advice 🥀🥀

Woke up next to a chick talking about she has a sorority brunch and can I get her an uber. I’m 25. This is a desperate cry for a girlfriend

IU spread is lock of the year over Nebraska tomorrow. Don’t say I never tried to put money in your pockets

I’m still convinced the majority of women fresh out of college do absolutely nothing at their jobs

Talking stage from 3 years ago just randomly texted me to lmk she got the ick from me bc I was allergic to her cats but wanted to see how I was doing now #whatdatmean

Just got 5 job offers and about to be employed again with a high paying job. Corporate rat race never ends

Need to stop hitting random peoples vapes at the bar

Moved to South Florida to escape Chicago and my first night out I immediately meet 10 people from Chicago 👍