Event DJ - Producer Contact: [email protected]
Baltimore ↔️ DC
Joined September 2011
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Was talking about a show tonight with my friend at a bar and he was like “it wants to be good really bad” and I didn’t have anything prepared to respond to that because damn.
I wanna buy and learn lap steel guitar or pedal steel guitar really really bad. I guess a lap one would be smaller so that’s what I would get. I’m hyped. Watching someone play one is so cool live. I’ve thought about it a few times and can’t stop now
Steve Shimmer retweeted
In retrospect... maybe coating the White House ballroom in gold leaf while Americans can't afford gas and groceries might have been a bad idea
Steve Shimmer retweeted
The only thing that would sway my vote this election is six text messages from an unidentified number during my work day.
Something funny, to me, my family are so split over nothing
I have an aunt in WV, and my mom WAS cool w/ her.
Same age as her 1st born, we are friends. All of his younger siblings went the military route
None of this matters, but my mom hasn’t talked to any of them in forever
Steve Shimmer retweeted
“Stop ya shit, before we stop yo shit” is one of the hardest bars of 2026 lol. Salute Nore
Here’s my biggest thing with this nonsense, he told him to stop before he really embarrasses him.
You know what that clown comic did?
He stopped the video.
Last night I made fun of G Eazy and some girl attempted to press me about it
She said “What’s so bad about him?”
I answered “What’s so good about him? I’ve never been around someone who said hey turn on that G Eazy”
Crickets..
She probably drove home listening to Jack Harlow
One of my friends tried to tell me that she had the best album this year
I just smiled and walked away from the convo
Steve Shimmer retweeted
Imagine putting together an entire halftime show based off of one woman doing a cover of Thunderstruck on xylophone……and having it KICK TOTAL ASS!
DJed a funky wedding today, literally & figuratively
I played so much Vulfpeck tn and it was a pretty anti-traditional American wedding
Anyway, it was over by 8pm. I’m home drinking a Coors Banquet, sipping some expensive whiskey and learning songs on my acoustic guitar
👌
Steve Shimmer retweeted
“There is no American culture.” Yeah, sure.
My company sends about 20 people a year to our office in America.
Before they go, HR gives them a 40-page manual. Most of it is visas and taxes.
Section 7 is different. It was written by employees who came back. HR adds to it every year. Nobody remembers who started it.
I was allowed to translate some of it.
SECTION 7: THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU
7.1 A stranger will ask how you are. This is not a question. Answer "Good, you?" Do not tell them how you actually are. (Kobayashi did. He was invited to a barbecue. It is now an annual event.)
7.2 You will be called "buddy," "boss," and "sweetheart" by people who do not know your name. All of them mean it.
7.3 At the hardware store, an older man will explain the thing you came to buy for 25 minutes. You will leave with the right part and a new grandfather.
7.4 If you are sick for a week, your lawn will be mowed. You will not find out who did it. (It was the man next door. It is always the man next door.)
7.5 By November, you will be invited to Thanksgiving. Accept. You will be sent home with more food than you brought.
SECTION 8: AFTER YOU RETURN TO JAPAN
Employees may experience:
- Waving at trucks
- Calling younger staff "sir"
- Small talk in elevators
- Asking the convenience store clerk how her day is going
These are not problems. Please do not report them to HR.
The last line of the manual was added in pen by our HR director. He was posted to Michigan in 1998.
"If you're lucky, you'll never fully come back."