Summit Family Therapy, PLLC provides counseling services in Peoria, IL. Our blog is about #familytherapy and #relationships. A follow is not an endorsement.
Peoria, IL
Joined December 2014
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SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
There will be people that would rather lose you, than be honest about what they’ve done to you. Let them go.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Abuser: “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
Every trauma informed therapist, healthy friend, fellow survivor, compassionate person you know: “It makes sense you feel that way.”
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
“They were abused too.”
“Hurt people hurt people.”
“Have you forgiven them?”
“They did the best they could.”
These are toxic and abuser centered responses when a hurt person is asking for help. You have to stop defending those who harm if you want to help who they’ve hurt heal.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Lots of complex trauma survivors spend lots of time apologizing for the lots of stuff-- because we feel shame for the "burden" we figure we MUST be to others.
Old conditioning dies hard-- even if we know it's BS (a Belief System) from once upon a time.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
If someone explains they were abused by their parents, your focus should be on showing support of that persons healing. If you tell them how to feel about their parents, you have just re-wounded someone who never got the care they needed from people who owed it.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Hey sis, with all the Fall activities happening around you, here’s a quick reminder: you do not have to do anything you do not want to do. If you’d like to enjoy peace within your own space, do what’s best for your personal joy.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Hey sis, if you’re not asking for help or allowing others to help you, this is a form of self-sabotaging. If you have a circle who genuinely wants to help you, it’s okay to accept their love.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
I will not attack myself like my abusers attacked me.
I will not talk to myself like my abusers talked to me.
I will no ignore myself like I was ignored.
I will not abandon myself like I was abandoned.
Repeat as necessary-- again, & again, & again.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Nothing f*cks up trauma's old "I must have deserved it" messaging than healthy anger.
Anger was what finally pried me out of certain situations where I was being treated like a doormat-- & had told myself I deserved it.
Anger can be scary-- because it can be powerful.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
The habit of people pleasing can be hard to kick because it's often based in the "fawn" trauma response.
We're not gonna be able to really give it up until we're confident, on a deep level, that we can survive someone's wrath when we refuse to do or be what they want.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Children raised in chaotic, unpredictable, or unsafe households can become adults addicted to their own stress hormones.
They need “drama cycles” or ways to feel consistent outrage or abandonment.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Kids aren’t responsible to know how to navigate their parents tempers, mood swings, and/or bad days. If you grew up thinking otherwise, this could be a key indicator to why you feel overly responsible for other people’s well-being while unknowingly neglecting your own.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
How about less “But didn’t you see the red flags?” And more “I see how hard you were trying to be loved.”
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
We are a society that doesn’t understand what empathy actually is. Empathy is simply the awareness of another persons perspective.
Many people confuse the word empathy with: caretaking, enabling, & rescuing behaviors. That’s not empathy, it’s codependency.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Trauma survivors have this quirk where we think we're insufferably lazy, "should" be working harder-- when the truth is, trauma survivors have been usually working OVERWHELMINGLY hard to stay relatively sane, safe, & stable EVERY DAY for YEARS.
Yeah, I see you. Ease up.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Standard trauma screenings aren't that great at catching vicarious, witnessed, intergenerational, or cultural/collective trauma.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Please be patient with those who have a hard time articulating how they feel. Many of them grew up in environments where not matter what they said, or how they said it, it was not enough to be heard. Their default to feel safe is to stop sharing. Again, patience please.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Being a trauma survivor often means DESPERATELY wanting SOMEBODY outside of our head to know about the awful memories & feelings f*cking w/ us-- but being desperately afraid if we even HINT at 1% of what we're going through, we'll be "too much," "attention seeking, &/or rejected.
SummitFamilyTherapy retweeted
Never underestimate a cycle breaker. Not only did they face years of generational trauma, but they stood in the face of that trauma and said “This ends with me.” This is brave. This is powerful. This comes at a significant cost. Never underestimate a cycle breaker.