i turned someone down after one dinner because they talked about their lease for twenty minutes. two months later i watched them argue with a pub trivia host about whether a lake can be a sea, and win, and i thought about it the whole drive home by then they were already seeing someone from their trivia team their landlord's name was gary. i still know that for some reason "no spark" after one dinner is the most overrated verdict in dating and i'm pretty sure it's why half of you are still single at 31. two strangers at a wine bar for 90 minutes, both doing their cleanest version, one of them asking "so what do you do for fun" while the other checks if the server is coming back. then everybody drives home and decides whether they felt something. nobody is hot while being interviewed. you wouldn't have a crush on your favorite coworker either if you'd met them in a performance review my friend derek is the most boring man alive over dinner. he orders the chicken and asks about your commute. put him in charge of a rec league flag football game and people in the stands start asking who he is most couples i know "met through friends" and i used to think that meant their friends had good taste. mostly it means they saw each other at a bonfire or while helping somebody move a couch, and one of them was carrying the heavy end women say "no spark" a lot when what they mean is he didn't act confident enough at them for an hour and a half. guys have their own version, "not my type," which usually means she didn't look exactly like photo one under restaurant lighting if the first date was "fine," you owe them a second one where you're actually doing something. bowling counts and if you ever said "no spark" and changed your mind later, what did it