
Co-Creator of the @FFfaceoff - 49ers faithful - Movie Junkie - Ranking Kickers so you don’t have to.
Long Island, NY
Joined January 2015
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Less than 5 minutes into the Matthew Perry documentary and it’s already speaking to me.
“It was about a guy who was sort of trying to distract everybody from how miserable he was all the time by being funny.”
So, real talk again. I’m debating entering an alcohol treatment place tomorrow.
If you have kicker questions between now and tomorrow afternoon, I’ll happily answer them.
I’m sorry, I love helping you all, but I might have to help myself.
Selfishly on the plus, I’d still be able to watch @gkittle46 and the 49ers.
Kickers matter and so does your mental health. DeForest Buckner matters too. 😏
Literally me 👇
Michael Hauff retweeted
Trade: The #Colts are trading 3-time Pro-Bowl DT DeForest Buckner back to the #49ers, the team that made him a 2016 first-round pick before dealing him to Indianapolis in 2020, per me and @AdamSchefter. A reunion!!
Now Buckner returns to SF, fortifying their defensive line.
Michael Hauff retweeted
Waiver Wire Targets BEFORE Week 8:
- Kaelon Black (CMC handcuff)
- Jonah Coleman
- Seth McGowen (Incase JT is traded)
- Emmett Johnson (K9 handcuff)
- Makai Lemon ⭐️
- Ryan Flournoy
- Keenan Allen ⭐️
- Omar Cooper Jr
- KC Concepcion
- Antonio Williams
- Chig Okonkwo ⭐️
- Michael Mayer
- Terrance Ferguson
Not to add to your paranoia @GioWFAN but there is a slight echo at times on mic.
Then again, your Vikings are at the top of the NFL so maybe that’s part of the deal.
Michael Hauff retweeted
25 facts you NEED TO KNOW after Week 7:🚨🎙️⬇️
Garrett Wilson has received under 4 targets in ONLY 2 games in his entire career. Today we add a 3rd game to that list
Only 3 players had a reception for the Buccaneers this week
2024 was the last time Sam LaPorta played in a game for the Lions and didn’t receive more than 2 targets
Baker Mayfield only threw the ball 11 times while the offense scored 43 points
Nico Collins hasn’t had a game with under 3 receptions and under 10 yards since his rookie season in 2021. He had 2 receptions for 6 yards this week
With 17 rushing attempts this week + averaging 5.5 yards per carry + scoring a TD, today Blake Corum had the best game of his CAREER
Jonah Coleman came off IR and received more opportunities than both JK Dobbins & RJ Harvey
Bo Nix only has ONE game with more than 1 TD pass
On 189 pass attempts Bo Nix is averaging 5.7 yards per pass
Michael Wilson doesn’t have a single game with with under 7 targets this season
Jordan Love has one week this SZN where he didn’t throw 2 TD passes
Christian Watson has gone two weeks in a row without a TD. He scored 6 TDs in his first 5 games
Josh Jacobs only had ONE game last season with 7 or more targets. He received 7 targets in his first game back this week 🎯
Jameson Williams had never scored 2 receiving TDs in a game before this season. He’s done it for 2 games in a row now 🔥
Matthew Stafford had 3+ TD passes in 53% of his games in 2025. He’s thrown 3+ TD passes in 43% of his games this SZN
Kyren Williams had his most efficient rushing game of 2026 with 16 attempts + 6.2 yards per carry
Among RBs with 75+ rushing attempts this season, Ashton Jeanty has the WORST YPC (3.2) 🤢
Ollie Gordon II has scored a TD for FOUR games in a row 🤯
Braelon Allen set a career high in targets Sunday (7). He also had the most efficient rushing game of his career when getting 10+ rushing attempts (6.1 Y/C)
JJ McCarthy had NEVER played in an NFL game where he threw 20+ pass attempts AND also had a 70%+ completion percentage (he did Sunday)
Malik Nabers has 51 targets over the last 4 weeks. He’s averaging 127 receiving yards per game over that stretch 📈
Extremely RARE game this week where CMC didn’t get at least 10+ rushing attempts. It’s only happened 5 times in a game since 2022
Justin Jefferson doesn’t have a single week with 10+ targets…..
John Metchie III & Jalen Coker received equal targets (4)
Darren Waller had the most receiving yards for the Panthers this week
My Week 7 Fsntasy Kicker Recap 🚨
IT WAS NOT PRETTY, but we gotta be accountable.
Streamers 👉 The Panthers didn’t let Ryan Fitzgerald get a FG attempt!
Daniel Carlson - 4 points
Matt Gay - 9 points
Rankings 👉 Will Reichard, whom I had at 1, currently has the 2nd most points.
7 of the kickers I had in my Top 12 panned out.
Back in the saddle to Week 8, stay tuned!
Listen, I’m happy J.J. McCarthy played well. Heck, I was rooting for him!
That said, do we have to go right to Sam Darnold comps? Dare I say, more than one start?
“Is JJ McCarthy the new Sam Darnold”
@colincowherd & @JohnMiddlekauff on the Giants QB leading an upset over the Texans
Michael Hauff retweeted
Quick Thoughts on EVERY TEAM that played on Sunday: 💭⬇️
Steelers
- Why did Rodgers stop going to Germie?
- The Steelers need to just make Warren the only guys touching the ball in that PIT backfield
Saints
- Tyler Shough has looked ROUGH lately
- They need Travis Etienne Jr back ASAP
- Juwan Johnson can’t be trusted in fantasy anymore
- Can’t wait for Tyson to be healthy
Every other team from Sunday below ⬇️
This had trap game written all over it, but if you’d told me the 49ers would enter the bye at 6-1, I would’ve been thrilled.
Rest up, get healthy, find a new kicker.
#FTTB







