Spoiler Steve talks Movies

My brother showed up to Christmas dinner and announced he was now going by a different name. Not legally. Just socially. Starting immediately. Brother: I've been doing a lot of work on myself this year and I feel like Kevin doesn't represent who I am anymore. Me: Who are you now? Brother: Caspian. Our mom set down the green beans. Mom: I'm sorry? Brother: Caspian. It means from the Caspian Sea. Dad: You're from Cleveland. Brother: Names don't have to reflect geography, Dad. The table went quiet in that specific Christmas way where everyone is pretending to be calm while aggressively staring at the centerpiece. My aunt broke first. Aunt: Like the Narnia horse? Brother: The horse's name is Bree. Caspian is the prince. Aunt: You've been reading Narnia. Brother: I've been on a journey. Me: A journey to the thirteenth century. Brother: That's judgmental. Me: Kevin, you work in insurance. Brother: Caspian works in insurance now. My dad picked up his fork and put it back down twice without eating anything. Dad: Can I ask what prompted this? Brother: I've been seeing a life coach. Me: The life coach told you to change your name. Brother: She helped me understand that I've been performing an identity that was assigned to me rather than chosen. Dad: Kevin was assigned to you because your grandfather was Kevin. Brother: And I love Grandpa Kevin. But I need my own...... Dad: Kevin, your grandfather is here. We all looked at the end of the table. Grandpa Kevin, eighty-three years old, had been quietly eating mashed potatoes and appeared to have heard all of this. Grandpa: (without looking up) I didn't like Kevin either. That was not what anyone expected. Grandpa: Always wanted to be called Ray. Mom: Dad, your name is Kevin. Grandpa: I know what my name is. My brother was staring at him with genuine surprise. Grandpa finally looked up. Grandpa: (to my brother) You picked Caspian? Brother: Yes. Grandpa: (considered this) I would've gone with something shorter. Brother: What would you have picked? Grandpa: Ray. Brother: That's just a regular name. Grandpa: Exactly. Easy to spell. Nobody asks you about Narnia. The table erupted. Even my brother laughed. He's still going by Caspian. But Grandpa now introduces himself as Ray at family functions. Nobody corrects him. He's eighty-three. He can be whoever he wants. My mom calls them both by their new names with the energy of a woman counting down to January. Dad just sighs and passes the green beans.