Justin Denner

Parents and coaches . . . Remind your kids every day: 1. Don’t let having fun distract you from getting better. 2. Don’t let getting better distract you from having fun. 3. Getting better is fun. The better you get, the more fun you have.

When you fail, two voices show up. The first voice is reasonable. It says, "Let’s find an easier path. No need to endure this." It sounds like wisdom, like it's protecting you. "Let's find a safer path. You don't need to expose yourself to this." The second voice is miserable, but convincing. It says, “You don’t have what it takes. It’s over." It sounds like panic, full of doubt. "You’ll never recover. There’s nothing left to do.” Both voices lie. They're just versions of quitting. Justify it if you want. It’s quitting on your journey, on yourself. And why . . . because you failed? The quitting voice wears a mask of wisdom to hide the truth of its weakness. Who are you to deserve a journey without painful failure? If you quit because you leaped and fell short, you failed more than the leap. You failed the lesson. The fall is there to teach you something. Blaming refuses the education. Complaining refuses the education. Getting defensive refuses the education. Quitting refuses the education. I've watched this pattern for twenty years. Someone attempts something meaningful. They fall short. Instead of examining why, improving, and trying again, they shrink back. Instead of stepping on the gas, they pull the emergency brake. The same challenge arrives again in a new form. They fail again. For the same reasons. Because they never learned the lessons from the first failure. So they repeat it. The same gap keeps appearing on their path until they learn how make the leap and overcome it. There is no promise they do. They often don’t. But those who leap-learn-leap-learn-leap, until they make it, earn rewards of excellence and fulfillment that others don't. They understand themselves and the world in a way others don't. That's the wisdom that can only be gained by making courageous leaps and enduring painful falls and failures. Resist the urge to quit. Don't listen to the quitting voices offering you relief from the struggle. Stay in the lesson. The fall is teaching you, but only if you keep making the leap.