have as much fun with irony as you want but if you can’t drop into earnestness at a moment’s notice you’re not ensouled

i don’t want to build saas, but have no clue how else to make enough money to feel safe. so i jump between maladaptive daydreams, high-status high-income intellectually-enriching vocations that aren’t available with 1000s of hours of reskilling (work that can’t be fear-driven)

it’s infuriating/exhausting/demoralizing how much of my experience is driven by suffering over feelings i can’t feel; processes that are stuck/incomplete/blocked but also behind almost ever decision i make in day to day life. everywhere and nowhere.

suspect the “work” part of “inner work” is mostly wrestling with paradoxes

PSA: the blind spot you see isn’t a real blind spot, and it’s certainly not the most destructive one

“just feel your feelings fully” is in the same class as “just be confident” to somebody socially anxious or “just do one small thing” to somebody depressed. it’s a well-intentioned but provides ~no real direction. it’s so hopelessly inadequate it’s almost offensive.

"moat of low status" is a slightly deceptive phrase. i don't think i like it it implies high status is right there, on the other side. you can see it! you can reach it! in reality, worthwhile status is often past the horizon. you must cross an indefinite *ocean* of low status

advice from anyone successful, in any domain, is usually post-hoc verbal construct only loosely grasping at illegible internal process. it's pretty rare to get good at something in a way that's entirely legible.

if i didn’t know that hand was coming it would have jumpscared the shit out of me

can anyone recommend a men’s group in nyc

riding the subway in a low effort halloween costume is a humiliation ritual but i’m being brave about it

all i ever want to eat anymore is sushi

had a dream where yudkowsky had recently tragically died and kept thinking “damn that’s sad it doesn’t even feel like he’s actually dead”

stranger complimented my jacket today. i’m holding my own out there.

it’s so much easier to larp the thing than do the thing. so most just larp. and since most are larping, larping is all that’s really asked to participate in the thing-community, and the community itself becomes complicit in the larp it’s totally decoupled. it’s all fake.

women have a connection to snoopy that men could not possibly hope to understand