Bacon Buttie munching decrepid ex rugby player, older than pyramids planning application.Oval balls are harder to juggle 🏉
Tortoiseland
Joined November 2020
- Tweets88.7K
- Following9K
- Followers10.5K
- Likes437K
Top tip:
If you're self conscious in social situations, carry a small rock in your pocket to rub when feeling nervous.
It will help you feel boulder.
🐢💨
🚨 The government has announced the sexual position formerly known as 69, will henceforth be called 96.
This is due entirely to the cost of living crisis effect on eating out.
🐢💨
Tolly 🐢💨 🇬🇧🇪🇺🇨🇦🇮🇪 retweeted
I need more followers. It feels like I'm tweeting into the wind at times...
I hear Reform are going to reintroduce Groats, and bubonic plague, if they get into power Robert.
🐢💨
🚨 The country with the largest number of Parks in the world is North Korea.
I personally know 4 of them.
🐢💨
If I'm on the West Coast of Scotland, and spot this women, I'm buying her a meal and taking her out on the lash. Fact.
🐢💨
No one bothered to tell me that slap a co-worker day wasn't real.
In other news, slap an irritating boss day isn't real either.
🐢💨
2:12 going to save the other half of this sarnie for later.
2:17 Have to eat the other half of that sarnie, and maybe a kit kat.
🐢💨
