Chris (@TreeGardener_) profile picture

Chris

@TreeGardener_

I have better opinions than you

 Austin, TX
Joined May 2013
  • Tweets6.7K
  • Following633
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Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)Photo by Chris (@TreeGardener_)
"never harm a cop" is a pretty standard code when you're committing crimes you fucking dipshit
Andrew J. Salazar (@AndrewJ626) profile pictureAndrew J. Salazar@AndrewJ626Nov 13
This post is hilarious because I just got these texts yesterday.
Image from Andrew J. Salazar (@AndrewJ626)
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Everybody is 12 theory is undefeated
🪩✨⚡️ (@86themike) profile picture🪩✨⚡️@86themikeNov 11
Narrator: they did not get to work.
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Zero reality where that happens
شـ 🦋 (@umilsheem) profile pictureشـ 🦋@umilsheemNov 11
Lowkey I’m glad that the HBO Harry Potter series might flop
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Might be one of the worst takes I've ever seen
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Hey man this is a really cool video and totally not annoying and performative at all
YourFavoriteGuy☭ (@guychristensen_) profile pictureYourFavoriteGuy☭
@guychristensen_Nov 11
Does your Walmart facility have one of these? #walmart #bds #hannukah #apartheid #boycott
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Walmart seasonal displays sell standard kosher Hanukkah foods and gelt for the Jewish holiday. Hanukkah commemorates the 164 BCE rededication of the Second Temple by the Maccabees; brands like Kedem are US-based kosher producers/importers. britannica.com/topic/Hanukkah en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kedem_Win…
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This has nothing to do with universities. It has everything to do with young people mainlining conspiracy theories and misinformation on tiktok for the last decade
Eyal Yakoby (@EYakoby) profile pictureEyal Yakoby
@EYakobyNov 11
Our universities are failing us.
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Any particular book in mind or should I just read any book?
sexczema (@dialectits) profile picturesexczema@dialectitsNov 11
Replying to @dialectits
to those of you asking me what crime she committed to deserve prison: read a book
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Most baby boomers are retired bro. It's Gen Xers that you should be complaining about
Dani🇵🇸 (@Danidoesmagic) profile pictureDani🇵🇸@DanidoesmagicNov 10
Job hunting in 2026 will have you wishing that Covid wiped baby boomers off the face of the earth
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AI. Move along everyone
Solos (@Solos_labs) profile pictureSolos
@Solos_labsNov 10
현시간 난리난 미국 팁근황
Image from Solos (@Solos_labs)
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
This image is fabricated. The text being passed as handwritten has the spacing consistency of a digital font. fonts.adobe.com/discovery/hand…
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Sorry bro it was laundry day
Lance Corporate (@lance_corporate) profile pictureLance Corporate
@lance_corporateNov 10
Don’t get mad at me for asking but how does an adult wearing Cookie Monster pajama pants at 10:30 AM on a Tuesday afford a $1300 plane ticket
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Just not even remotely true
𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓽 ✈️ (@mldiffley) profile picture𝓜𝓪𝓽𝓽 ✈️
@mldiffleyNov 10
6 wings are $20 and a beer is $5 at the cheapest bar in the world
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It's going to be a massive flop
The King of Burbank (@kingofburbank2) profile pictureThe King of Burbank@kingofburbank2Nov 10
I’m feeling such dread about this opening weekend. People love this fucking creep. We’re about to get our shit rocked by these box office numbers.
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Still very much exists. I was literally experiencing it tonight
Andrew Fillipponi (@ThePoniExpress) profile pictureAndrew Fillipponi
@ThePoniExpressNov 10
Random take: I feel like dudes don’t go out and watch Monday Night Football anymore. When I was in my 20s. There was nothing better than finding a good wing spot. A place with a great beer special. Maybe a waitress/bartender you had the hots for. What happened to that?
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They're pretty off-putting if we're keeping it a buck
Sarah Larchmont (@SarahLarchmont) profile pictureSarah Larchmont@SarahLarchmontNov 10
You could never make me hate those women.
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Love when people speak truth to power like this
Image from Chris (@TreeGardener_)
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Startup idea: I give your boyfriend a wedgie and shove him into a locker
Lauren Self (@laurenlself) profile pictureLauren Self
@laurenlselfNov 9
Boyfriend isn’t a Twitter person but he loves to make me laugh so he just writes drafts and shows them to me
Image from Lauren Self (@laurenlself)
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I mean fair enough I guess
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Your phone can do that for you stop engagement baiting
mev 🏀🧸🌹 (@mevvybear) profile picturemev 🏀🧸🌹
@mevvybearNov 9
Can someone please edit the people in the back of my pictures out for me 🤣
Image from mev 🏀🧸🌹 (@mevvybear)
Image from mev 🏀🧸🌹 (@mevvybear)
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And that's a good thing
K (@yookayperson) profile pictureK
@yookaypersonNov 9
no camera footage to corroborate, no bodily fluid collection, no police report made at the time, just heresy from 2-3 people that has landed him 10 years in jail.
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No that's a Baker Mayfield stat
Evan T. 🏴‍☠️ (@surfrenegade) profile pictureEvan T. 🏴‍☠️
@surfrenegadeNov 9
That's a Zac Robinson stat. Its 9:30 AM on the bye week and he still isnt fired. They are gonna ride this out to a mediocre end.
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