Writer for @InGoalMedia. Literary Academic. Cape Bretoner. Threads: @waytogoalpaul BlueSky: @ https://xitter.cf/t.co/7c0lmgM5Kd Contact: [email protected]
Guelph, Ontario
Joined October 2014
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Brilliant, and timely; when will we ever have another goalie for PM? @MarkJCarney, it’s your chance to do something remarkable.
Call it the Ken Dryden Program of Goaltending Excellence, headquartered in our former goalie factory, Quebec. Free equipment is just the beginning.
This has become the most consequential miss in modern hockey history. Without exaggeration, it’s set NHL hockey in Canada back at least a couple of years.
I was shocked to learn the true source of this cryptic wisdom. It has an almost Anglo-Saxon alliterative verse structure.
Find a goalie who plays well for your team. Hold him close to your heart and never let him go. Love him unconditionally, for all his is and what he means to you, because he won’t be worth a dime by the time you break up.
I’ve had this happen a few times. Biggest common risk is whacking your head on the way down. Once you know what to look for, you can often feel it coming and get low, either avoiding unconsciousness or at least getting prone for when it happens.
You gotta hand it to him: Brady standing there with a huge smile saluting the whole crowd as they savaged him during his tribute video was a WWE heel-worthy performance. Everybody in the building played their role perfectly tonight.
I have never said this before, but goddamn it I’m proud of the Sens fans tonight. What a performance.
A roast is a tribute of sorts, right? Roasting returning players who left on bad terms would be the height of entertainment. Their worst blunders, dumbest media moments, most embarrassing gaffes.
A fizzle reel.
You can stand at the top of the crease. Saros often posts up there facing the side boards when his D has the puck behind the net. The forechecker has to avoid you.
But you can’t move there as a player is skating through. That’s interference every time.
Paul Campbell retweeted
Holy shit, this is a real quote from Devin Cooley, the distilled essence of goaliemind.
I just learned a great line for de-escalating verbal conflicts between parent groups in the stands.
Addressing and facing your own group (but speaking loudly enough for both sides to hear): “Simmer down, everyone. I don’t want to end up on YouTube for this.”
4. If your side’s parents are being shitty, address them with a strategic motive for stopping - “Lay off the refs - the last thing we need is an enemy for the game/tournament/season.”
5. Cheer the other goalie’s big saves. It diffuses total tribalism without seeming disloyal.
Sounds like a wash. You do you. The last thing we need is the Right trying to make every purchase a moral minefield. Mimicking the Left in form and then saying, “but the opposite!” is weak.
If you find yourself having to choose between Tim Hortons and Starbucks, consider the following,
1) Tim Hortons is a Brazilian-American enterprise serving coffee so weak or rancid that it requires two creams and two sugars just to make it palatable. A significant proportion of their branches are staffed overwhelmingly by temporary foreign workers.
They do all of this while wrapping themselves in Canadian iconography, trying to dupe you into believing that buying a substandard product is an act of culinary patriotism.
2) Starbucks is an American chain serving bitter but perfectly drinkable coffee that can be enjoyed black without immediate regret. The vast majority of their Canadian branches are staffed by local teenagers and university students.
Crucially, they don't pretend to be 'Elbows Up'.
One of these multinational corporations clearly does more for Canadians.
Choose wisely, though, naturally, your local independent cafe should always come first.
Jack Campbell is one of the few NHL goalies I felt bad for during his entire career. He was his own worst enemy.
Goaltending remains 100% mental.
Former Oilers goalie Jack Campbell reveals struggle with alcohol led to Leafs departure oilersnation.com/news/edmont…
HLB Syndrome pervades the entire culture. You’re like, this big bear, fangs and teeth, ferocious, ravenous, and there’s this little bunny rabbit in front of you, delicious, and you’re just looking at your giant claws, thinking, “What do I do? Can’t somebody feed me?”
Going to start marketing myself as the “goalie-traitor scoring consultant” for local minor hockey teams.
Most of the goalies have obviously been training with goalie coaches, but the skaters mostly look like they’ve never been shown the most effective ways to beat goalies.
Little Johnny has been tirelessly mastering an array of dekes that would make Pavel Barber jealous. By November every year, the opposing goalies figure out that he never shoots and just wait for him a foot off the goal line. He scores on one of every 10 breakaways.