Jay Hartley

My wife: How far away is the restaurant? Me: about 20 minutes. My wife: Of course. 🙄

We need to start coming up with a redo calendar to make up for all the holidays messed up by the pandemic. Like, July 3 can be redo St. Paddy’s Day, July 12 can be redo Easter, July 21 can be redo Cinco de Mayo... Who’s with me?

TFW you live in San Diego, but can’t even get tickets to Comic Con #sdcc #SDCC2020 #rr2020 – at San Diego, CA

I mean, if he got, say, shanked in the prison yard, at least people could speculate that someone pulled some Walter White shit and had him taken out. THAT would be a conspiracy. #JeffreyEpsteinSuicide – at San Diego, CA

“We’ll say he committed suicide right after we take him off suicide watch and take his cell mate out of the cell while no one is watching him and the security camera is malfunctioning. No one will ever be able to figure it out.” #JeffreyEpsteinSuicide – at San Diego, CA

If this whole #JeffreyEpsteinSuicide conspiracy is true, it’s one of the worst conspiracies of all time. It’s almost too simple to actually be feasible. Did a fifth grader plot this? – at San Diego, CA

The great outdoors

If you ask me if I remember something, and I reply with “vaguely,” I have no clue what you’re taking about but I don’t want to say so. #confession – at La Mesa, CA

I would like to officially reach out to @SYFY and offer to write the newest creature-feature: Meth Gator vs. Sharktopus #MethGators – at San Diego, CA

Who gets #gas at 76 stations? It’s always so #expensive. Near me, there’s a 7/11 with $3.71 a gallon, and across the street is a 76 at $4.59?! Who’s saying, “Yeah, I know it’s like 90 cents more, but 76 saved my dad in the Gulf, so I really feel I owe it to them” #California – at La Mesa, CA

Power’s out on the block. Anarchy!!!! 🧨🧨🧨 – at La Mesa, CA

Seems sacrilegious to get a fish taco at SeaWorld – at San Diego, CA

TFW you find out Shakira is 42... – at San Diego, CA