In case you didn't follow sports today: >🏈Pat McAfee alluded to Charlie Kirk's assassination when explaining multiple reasons why he felt uncomfortable at CFB GameDay in Utah this weekend (vid in replies) >⚽️Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or -Mbappe was 2nd, Yamal 3rd, Rodri 4th, Messi 5th >🏈Dez Bryant was handcuffed facedown on the road after confronting 2 drivers who cut him off (vid in replies) >🏈Jay-Z was officially announced himself as the Super Bowl LXI halftime performer >⚽️Police released the 911 call from the Florida youth soccer league that kicked out a 3 y/o (vid in replies) >⚽️England's U15s walked off vs Ireland at the U15 World Cup after an Irish player allegedly shouted "monkey" at an English player (vid in replies) >NFL, MLB, NBA, NHL & WNBA all had games at the same time tonight (sports equinox) >⚾️Brewers beat Rays 10-1 in G3 of the World Series & are up 3-0 in series -Scored 8 runs in the 5th while on 2 outs >🏀Valkyries beat Dream 64-55 in Game 5 of WNBA Finals & took 3-2 series lead >🏀Yaxel Lendeborg put up 31 & 12 leading Warriors to first win of the season >🏀WNBA Finals Game 6 got moved to a 12:30pm on Thursday at the Hawks' arena so Cavs-Hawks can play there later that night -If a team wins the chip that night, celibrations will be moved onto a practice court so the NBA can set up for the hawks game >🏀Kid Rock officially declared himself as a woman & says will be joining Enes Kanter in the 2027 WNBA Draft >🏀Jalen Williams & Cason Wallace were both ruled out for "several months — most, if not the entire season" >🏀Anthony Edwards dropped 47 in an OT loss to the Cavs >🏀Brandon Miller dropped a career-high 39 in Hornets win vs Wizards >🏀Cooper Flagg put up 29 pts, 11 ast, 5 stl & 3 blk & blocked Wiggins' go-ahead 3 at the end -Heat are 0-4 for the first time since 2008 >🏀The Milwaukee Bucks played in an empty arena (vid in replies) >🏀Jaylen Brown's rep called the report that he demanded a trade from Boston "10000% a lie" >🏀Jaylin Williams helped Hartenstein's while dribbling the ball and Hartenstein laying out of bounds & got called for a turnover (vid in replies) >🏈Cowboys beat the Eagles 38-21 on MNF -Dak threw 3 TDs & Javonte Williams ran for a career-high 155 -Eagles have lost 5 straight >🏈Oregon QB Dante Moore was ruled out for the rest of the season with a concussion >🏈Caleb Williams got fined $11,941 for wearing the wrong cleats >🏒James Reimer got pulled after 1 period in his Rangers debut after giving up 3 goals on 8 shots >🏒Blues condemned fans who held up "Israel Kills" signs at their game last week & said they got ejected >⚽️The official Ballon d'Or website published articles saying Kane, Yamal AND Mbappe won it hours before the ceremony >⚽️An LAFC fan got caught on video yelling a racist slur at Son Heung-min >⚽️PSG beat Lyon 2-0 to go top of Ligue 1 -Match was pushed back to today due to Paris protests so a ton of PSG's team was at the Ballon d'Or ceremony during the match >⚽️Osimhen scored 2 as Galatasaray beat Fenerbahçe 2-1 in the Istanbul derby >⚽️Man Utd held talks over Carrick's future & he still hasn't been sacked >⚽️I did a full football recap on my account earlier if you wanna check it out If you love sports but don't have time to endlessly scroll Twitter all day — I post one of these recaps every night... Follow me pookie

1 sentence for every NFL team after Week 7: 🏈Packers > Fckd by the refs 🏈Lions > Tried to lose but the refs wouldn't let them 🏈Eagles > All their skill players are seriously injured but, who knows, they might all be cleared to play next week 🏈Cowboys > So fun to watch this offense when it's cookin 🏈Patriots > Tough loss vs a better team but, good news, Patriots have a relatively easy schedule the rest of the season 🏈Bears > My pookie bo-dookie D'Andre Swift makes me proud every week 🏈Steelers > I keep waiting for them to auto correct back closer to .500 but... it's just not happening 🏈Saints > Yeah they suck but given the division they play in, i'm not counting them out of hosting a playoff game 🏈Buccaneers > OH MY GAWD 🏈Panthers > oh😵‍💫 my🤢 god🤮 🏈Dolphins > Finally got a win making the Chargers the last winless team 🏈Jets > You know how sht your defense gotta be to give up almost 30 to this current iteration of the Dolphins? 🏈Giants > They lowkey got a QB1 battle developing once Dart gets back 🏈Texans > Loved seeing Tank Dell back but holy shit... what happened to this defense? 🏈Bengals > I don't see a world they don't win the AFC North 🏈Ravens > This season feels like it's gonna come down to that week 18 game vs the Steelers (again) 🏈Browns > Crazy that the Vikings are 6-0 and still arn't the biggest frauds in the league 🏈Titans > Tony Pollard legacy game 🏈Colts > Start Anthony Richardson & trade Jonathan Taylor 🏈Vikings > I can not believe that this defense keeps dragging this dog water offense to wins every week 🏈49ers > It's the same issue every year... They good as fck but just get destroyed by injuries & will lose a playoff game in the more heartbreaking way possible 🏈Falcons > Kendal Daniels getting a game winning INT a week after getting carried off the field in a stretcher is the best story of the NFL season so far... Simply incredible 🏈Broncos > They just keep on winning 🏈Cardinals > Feels like they play vs a team that might be in a conference championship game every week 🏈Rams > A win is a win 🏈Raiders > Start Mendoza, trade Kirk to a the Vikings, & KEEP LAUNCHING DEEP BALLS TO TRE TUCKERRR🐐 🏈Chiefs > Welcome to the new NFL where if you wanna win a super bowl *insert clip of Earl Thomas (i'll put it in replies 👇) 🏈Seahawks > We so fckn back but I just wanna point out that Nick Emmanwori was lining up in 4-point stances at DE getting QB pressures vs Joe Alt a few weeks ago and just went stride for stride all game vs the fastest player in NFL history at CB this week I post one of these every week — follow me pookie

In case you didn't follow football⚽️ today: >🌎Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or -Mbappe was 2nd, Yamal 3rd, Rodri 4th, Messi 5th >🇺🇸Police released 911 call from Florida youth soccer league that kicked out a 3 y/o after parents complained their kids couldn't get the ball off him (vid in replies) >🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿England walked off the pitch vs Ireland at U15 World Cup after an Irish player allegedly called an English player "monkey"(vid in replies) >🌎The official Ballon d'Or website published articles saying Kane, Yamal AND Mbappe won the Ballon d'Or hours before it was announced >🇪🇸Lamine Yamal won the Kopa Trophy for the 3rd straight year -Yamal said Pau Cubarsí deserved it (Cubarsí came 2nd) >🌎Rest of the Ballon d'Or awards: -🇪🇸Alexia Putellas won her 3rd women's Ballon d'Or -🇪🇸Unai Simón won best GK -🇪🇸Luis de la Fuente won best manager -🇫🇷PSG won club of the year -🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Saka won the Socrates Award for his charity work -🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Kane also won the Gerd Müller Trophy >🇪🇸Real Madrid ended their 2-year Ballon d'Or boycott & sent Mbappe >🇧🇷Vini Jr finished 17th in the Ballon d'Or, 2 years after his "I'll do it 10x if I have to" tweet when he came 2nd >🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Kane thanked Tottenham in his speech: "I wouldn't be where I am today without Tottenham" >🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Man Utd co-owner, Jim Ratcliffe, put his Swiss club Lausanne-Sport up for sale >🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Bruno Fernandes liked an IG post saying "Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer care" -This comes right after he got benched vs Bournemouth >🇫🇷PSG beat Lyon 2-0 to go top of Ligue 1 -Police pushed the game back a day due to the Paris protests -10 of PSG's team was at the Ballon d'Or ceremony during the match but don't worry, it wasn't any other ones that normally play in Ligue 1 matches >🇺🇸LAFC fans got caught on video yelling a racist slur at Son Heung-min & spitting on a female Galaxy fan during the LA derby >🇹🇷Osimhen scored twice as Galatasaray beat Fenerbahçe 2-1 in the Istanbul derby >🇪🇸Barcelona confirmed Xavi Espart will be out ~7 weeks with an ankle injury from the Clásico >🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿Jermaine Pennant needed over 50 stitches after a German shepherd attacked him -Jermaine's own dog fought it off >Let me know what I missed If you love football but don't have time to scroll twitter all day — I post one of these recaps every night... Follow me pookie

Full breakdown of the 3 y/o who got the cops called on him for being too good at soccer: >⚽️Police were called to a 4 & 5 y/o soccer game in Florida after parents complained a 3 y/o was holding onto the ball too much >⚽️His mom said the game got stopped as soon as he started playing & the director, coaches & parents huddled up on how to keep the toddler off the field >⚽️She refused to sit him out: "I cannot explain to my three year old son that he cannot play today because he's so good" >⚽️The league asked the family to leave & refunded their entire league fee >⚽️A league official called the cops over a "disturbance" with his parents & told officers the kid could no longer play in the league >⚽️Police called it a civil matter & said nobody was arrested, trespassed or forced to leave >⚽️His mom said the 3 y/o cried & felt like "Maybe I should have just not scored so many times" >⚽️Ex-pro Eddie Johnson stepped in & the child will join his Orlando youth training program in January >⚽️i9 Sports said it's reviewing what happened & offered him more weeks in a different league... his family said no I post quick sports recaps like this every day... so follow me if you want to see these more.

In case you didn't watch sports last night: >🏀Luka Doncic dropped 52 points >🏀WNBA revealed game 6 of the FINALS is set to play in a 3500 seat gymnasium cuz they double booked the normal stadium with an ATL Hawks game >⚽️Real Madrid beat Barcelona 2-1 in the El Clásico off a late Mbappe goal >⚽️Man Utd got humiliated AGAIN, this time losing 3-0 to Bournemouth -They are 1 point above relegation >🏎️Ted Cruz got booed by the Texas crowd while handing Kimi Antonelli the US GP trophy (vid in replies) >🏀Jalen Williams went down with a gruesome leg injury and got stretchered off (vid in replies... viewer discression advised) >🏈Seahawks beat the Chiefs 20-3 & handed KC its first loss of the season -JSN put up 9 rec, 150 yds & a TD -Super Bowl MVP Kenneth Walker got held to 36 yds by his old team & walked off the field without shaking anybody's hands >🏒Canucks fans booed Quinn Hughes in his return to Vancouver & chanted "HE'S NOT SIGNING"(vid in replies) -The crowed erupted when Hughes got dropped by a body check -Hughes had a goal & an assist in the Wild's 4-2 win >🏈Kendal Daniels sealed Atlanta's win vs undefeated 49ers with an INT -Last week he got stretchered off the field after scary injury >🏈Lions beat the Packers 20-17 on a walk-off FG after an onslaught of bad penalty calls against Green Bay >🏈Bengals beat the Ravens 35-13 after being down 13-0 at half -Bengals put up 5 unanswered TDs in the 2nd half >🏈Rest of NFL Scores (I also did a full NFL recap earlier) -Steelers 16-10 Saints -Bucs 43-13 Panthers -Dolphins 28-25 Jets -Giants 27-21 Texans -Browns 27-24 Titans -Vikings 16-10 Colts -Broncos 30-16 Cardinals -Rams 35-21 Raiders >🏈Cam Skattebo called for unnecessary roughness cuz he trucked a defender (vid in replies) -Then put up his first career 100-yd game as Giants beat Texans >🏈Packers, Seahawks, Broncos & Vikings were reported to be considering a trade for Jonathan Taylor -Taylor called out people who talk about his trade rumors on social media -His wife did the thing on the line above just 2 days ago >🏈Azeez Al-Shaair announced he'd wear the name of Fatima Al-Bayook, an 8 y/o girl killed in Gaza, on his eye black vs the Giants >🏈SEC fined South Carolina $500K for their fans rushing the field vs Tennessee >🏀Knicks lost to the Magic & fell to 0-3 -Only the 69-70 Celtics & 11-12 Mavs also started 0-3 after winning the chip >🏀Jalen Suggs went down with bad knee injury >🏀Embiid asked reporters to "put pressure" on the Sixers to let him play tonight, they sat him anyway & lost to the Pistons 106-93 >⚽️Inter beat Fiorentina 2-1 scoring in the 91st & 97th minute to go top of Serie A >⚽️Bayern beat Freiburg 3-1 in their first game since Kompany collapsed at training >⚽️I did a full football recap on my account earlier if you wanna check it out >🏁Kyle Larson won at Talladega for his first ever superspeedway win >🎾Medvedev beat Basilashvili to win the Almaty title >🏒Canadiens beat the Jets 2-1 outdoors in the Heritage Classic >Let me know what I missed If you love sports but don't have time to watch every game — I post one of these recaps every night... Follow me pookie