YoPeGo!

I think its time to tell the truth to all of you. There's a reason I stream so infrequently these days and I'm tired of trying to hide it so here it is. In plain sight, for all to see. I can't hide this anymore, and I will not stand for it. I have changed. I'm tired of living a double life. I'm tired of pretending to be someone I'm not. I'm tired of trying to hold my tongue when I know what I should be saying. I'm tired of acting like a sinner and siding with the world over God. And I'm tired of trying not to save you for fear of what you may think of me, especially those of you in my community whom I care deeply for. Today God told me this. "Either give up streaming entirely or use it in a way that glorifies the kingdom of God." He asked me why, after all I had said to him - that I give my life to him and his work that I still will not give this up and keep trying to live this double life, and he said I can't walk this path and walk alongside him too. Even writing this I was feeling afraid. and I asked god for a message to clearly say if this is the right thing to do and what did I get? "Let it happen." by tame impala. I ask god for guidance through songs and you can read those lyrics just to know what that means but the message is clear and powerful. God has been convicting me on this heavily. On why I'm not glorifying him here, in my stream and community the same way I do in the church as an esteemed worship leader and follower of Christ. I have changed these past 4 months, I'm not the same person who I used to be during that 2 month long Subathon. The shackles that once held me down are broken. But it was not through my own power. I am healed. I no longer have social anxiety or depression. I no longer have no hope for the future, I no longer am alone - I have beautiful friends in the church who I pray for and pray for me and do life together with. I am no longer plagued by the spirit of suicide. I no longer want to be the person I've shown to all of you during my streaming career - the sinner I used to be. And I can no longer keep up that façade because It is a lie - it is not who I am. So I'm making some changes around here, and If you are not for it then so be it. I would rather have favor in the Lord than favor from the world. I've prayed till my knees gave out for you. There will be no more "Drunk Streams" or anything remotely related to alcohol consumption. I remember so clearly, after the last one I did all those months ago. I was completely out of it, quite literally wasted. I was looking at myself in the mirror and I heard the holy spirit so clearly. "What are you doing? Why are you doing this?" And I froze, for I couldn't give an answer. I felt undeniable shame and completely lost and broken. And I know these feelings were not something I could keep within me. And I knew then that this was the wrong path. I could no longer turn to the bottle instead of to Christ. I could only repent - and what a blessing that was for my life. There will be no more glorifying sin or taking sin lightly in my discord or my stream. Specifically talking here about anything to do with the awful sin of pornography. There is no life in it and it will only bare awful fruit in your life. In Matthew 5:28, Jesus states that anyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in their heart, emphasizing that lustful intent is as sinful as the act itself. Jesus himself said this. I'm telling you now, give it up and you will be blessed in ways you cannot imagine. I myself was in bondage with Porn for a long time and it was only through repentance that he gave me the heart to reject it and see it for the evil it really is as well as true forgiveness for that sin. I couldn't have done it without him - don't try fight worldly desires by your own power because it will not work! I've made significant effort to stop swearing in the past few months, so I've also been running a promise that for every time I swear or fall back into that habit on stream, I will add 1$ to a giveaway and eventually when that reaches a high enough number I will give it to someone in the community. It is said in the scriptures that our tongues are able to hold both life and death. "death and life are in the power of the tongue," is Proverbs 18:21. God's been teaching me amazing things in my dreams, his presence has been so clear to me in giving me messages for people. I've been given lessons in dreams on how to read my bible and what to look out for; lies the enemy will try to sway me with. Here's a very recent testimony I have of God's goodness. Just recently I received a dream of my Ex girlfriend pleading with me to contact her because she had something important to talk to me about. So I was faithful and I did just that. I found the only way left I had to contact her and through talking to her I realized why God had sent me into this situation. She was now with this abusive guy (engaged to him!) who is controlling her life, not letting her see her family, and being verbally abusive towards her. And through talking to her and bringing her back to Gods word, she realized just how much this was not what God intended in her life. Fast forward a few days, I was praying about this situation and how to get her out of it and I received a message that stopped me in my tracks. I was told very clearly that this man was dragging her into hell with him. And that scared me. So I contacted her about it and told her, and she turned to him after and had them pray together and repent and get back on the right path. And I'm still monitoring this situation, this happened a few days ago only! But I can only be so grateful that God received my prayer of being of use to him and his Kingdom and sent me to make right that situation. I've seen miracles you wouldn't believe. I've seen people healed in an instant. I've seen forest fires stop in their tracks through prayer alone. I've seen demons cast out of people - and that person was me. My own story of my upbringing and the saving of my own life is the biggest testimony of God's existence that I have. And to anyone curious of these things feel free to ask me about them then next time I'm live, or if you're uncomfortable with that then do so in my DM - its always open and I always want to talk to people about this and bring them back to God's perfect love. I will no longer be ashamed to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ. I will no longer hold my tongue when I see sin being glorified around me. and I will be trying my utmost best to be a good example of what a persons' walk with Christ should look like. Because I am no longer the owner of my life, I was bought with a price - the blood of Jesus. and I will never stand down on that fact. I would die for these beliefs. In fact, there would be no greater honor than that. Matthew 7:7-8 (NIV): "Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." My heart cries out to any of you who don't know God the Father, Jesus the Son and the Holy Spirit - especially those who have supported me so generously over the years. I love you all so dearly. And I am truly excited about what God can accomplish through me on this journey and bringing God into the twitch platform that so desperately needs him and his grace and perfect forgiveness.🤍 Thank you for reading this far. Its the best decision you could have made. May God bless you and lead you to greener pastures as he has promised in his word. You remain in my prayers.