If a person is more upset about you talking about how they hurt you than they are that they hurt you, that’s a sign.
Sometimes I actually wonder, if I didn’t have hands or the ability to talk, would anyone actually want me?
If there really is some grand puppet master, I wish they would just step out from behind the curtain and show themselves. I’m way more likely to support them than these two idiots I’m currently supposed to choose between.
Being coercively shamed into silence, in ANY relationship, while the other side is out smearing, controlling the narrative, is a massive sign you’re in an abusive dynamic. And that the other party clearly knows what they are doing. Don’t people please yourself into a prison.
Feelings someone’s pain and knowing how they feel their pain are two different things. Just because you can feel someone’s pain does not mean you know how they feel it or how it affects them. Assuming this and thinking you know what’s best for someone is toxic behavior.
Survivors of narcissistic abuse and coercive control tend to over blame ourselves for the abuse. This serves two purposes. It gives us an illusion of control because if I am the problem then I can also be the solution, and I can avoid the pain of the reality by trying to fix it
I became a little more free the moment I realized the incessant need to validate my existence stemmed from childhood trauma
It is ok to just be for the sake of being