If people aren’t laughing something is wrong.

Joined January 2012
I'm a cheap date I show up drunk
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Not interested in Business Oligarch
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Woke up on time today at 12:45PM!
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Kid Show Business retweeted
*gathers tarantula in Arizona desert to sell illegally on craigslist* *gets letter from FBI, thinks Just try to come get me in my condo full of giant spiders* *breeds super tarantula as extra percaution*
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Kid Show Business retweeted
im good at stand up comedy now i finally turned it around
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Know this: you are greatness and light. No, wait, that's not you. Sorry.
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Godzilla must have been hella pissed in the drive-through when they banned supersize!!!
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Have never enjoyed seeing the Venmo timeline a single time
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Here's a fun thing: Take your first name and then go fuck yourself.
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Kid Show Business retweeted
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Once I learn how to process my emotions, figure out how to sleep at night, stop eating compulsively, learn to love and find a purpose, then LOOK OUT cause I’m gonna be unstoppable.
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Kid Show Business retweeted
If we are on this earth for such a short time then why is this day dragging? ( gunshot. Followed by a long howl from a lone wolf on the prairie that knows only hardship. Suddenly a man in a suit comes running near the hungry wolf. It is Jimmy Fallon. He is mauled.)
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Let us make this the greatest nation on the planet who couldn’t prevent the unnecessary deaths of 600,000 people because of a for-profit healthcare system.
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Kid Show Business retweeted
“ hey hate!” ‘yea fear?” ‘ hedge funds keep buying up lots of the housing market and no one can afford a house anymore “. “ that’s why we are going to murder them one by one” ‘thanks hate’.
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Kid Show Business retweeted
2 weeks away from a NEW Year NEW Laughs @SoundRoomOAK in beautiful @visitoakland with the best comics Cali has to offer. Advance tickets recommended & only $10!🔥🎤🔥🎤🔥 brownpapertickets.com/event/… @JoeyAveryComedy @irene_tu @zorbajvon @visitoakland @OakFirstFridays @_RomanLeo
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Any song is a breakup song if you sing it while crying
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Kid Show Business retweeted
I’d be a lot happier if I wasn’t so sad.
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Sesame Street was one of the most diabolical mind warping Alien invasions that’s totally real.
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The flies follow me everywhere. :) #neveralone
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Kid Show Business retweeted
Pretty soon we will be in camps with ‘ I voted ‘ stickers on.
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Is that cold brew? no it’s yesterday’s.. *old brew*
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